From Oblivion to Ascension
by CriedOut911
Summary: Detained in ignorance, humanity is backed to a corner, almost cease to exist. Hope is not lost however. One day humanity will rise above all to obtain that level of ascension. OC. Rated T for language and other themes
1. Two Thousand Years Wasted

**Disclaimer: The awesomeness that is Shingeki no Kyojin is sadly not owned by me but by a Japanese guy with a huge imagination**

* * *

_**Chapter 1: Two Thousand Years Wasted**_

"_The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow"_

_- __**Bob Marley**_

* * *

_I'm the reason my parents are dead_

That was the mantra that her guilt insisted on droning. That was the only thought pervading her mind as she sat on the mildewed wooded floor of the boat. It was musky, it smelled and the people around her already triggered her anxiety and almost claustrophobia that threatened to show its form as bile. If she did that, she knew imminently the people around her would be furious—especially since she's a kid. Protecting kids is the last thing on everyone's minds right now, she could obviously tell—so she held it in just to stave off any unnecessary quarrel.

However, that was realism. She was just a kid; No matter if her behavior contradicted otherwise or no matter how tough people credited her for, she was still just a kid; a kid who's still piquantly affected by the world. She found herself musing in her clustered mind once more and although clustered she always managed to land on one distant yet unforgettable, _horrible_ memory that always and _will_ always plague her.

* * *

_Year 845—Wall Maria: Shiganshina District_

_10 hours 30 minutes ago_

She knew for quite some time, but now there was no denying it.

She, Rinora Charles, has a huge crush on her best friend, Eren Jaeger.

The thought of him only served to magnify her frustration, and she found herself groaning aloud, because behind that anger for even thinking she felt so strongly for him, there was a current of warmth pulsing through her body as the shaggy brown hair and light green eyes came into her mind.

It made sense though—even with her logic taking a traitorous U-turn—as far with everything she's been feeling around him. She'd recalled the countless of times she adoringly glanced at him when his attention was somewhere else, the weird fizzy feeling that indignantly percolated in her stomach whenever he was too close for comfort, not to mention that outrageous dream she had just a few nights ago about Eren and her being married a couple.

Well, that type of thing did arise from being in love, right?

She shook her head furiously in a failed attempt to clear it. _You're being stupid_, she told herself, allowing the voice of reason to take over. _You are only ten years old; you can't feel love in its truest form__._

The statement sounded half-hearted, even to her.

Rin didn't know if she could call what she felt for Eren _love__._ The thought held too much heaviness—she had looked at it merely as an expression to show only for her parents— and too many complications. She couldn't even bring herself to try and explain why she felt such a thing towards him. He was annoyingly stubborn, rude and obnoxious and never listened to other people. He had a great habit of pissing her off and he constantly has people always worrying for him.

Though his kindness squashed half—yes _only_ half—of those exasperating qualities.

She groaned under her breath, stepping out of her house with exaggerated slowness and held the doorknob tenderly as if it was a fragile object. She lifted her head and saw the sun winding high in the blue hue of the sky. With little effort, Rin scurried down the emerald heaps of meadow valleys, kicking a few pebbles on the way, using a breeze that swept the land to unclog her mind.

_You know what you have to do_

She planted her feet firmly to the grass, cursing her mind for being such a persistent prick. A sharp exhalation on her part echoed loudly against the slight abrasiveness of the breeze and she knew that the sudden warmth in her cheeks was not because of the chill of the wind. It occurred to her that she wanted more than anything for him to feel the same way for her that she did for him and the countless inferences of "What ifs?" called out to her.

_What if he doesn't like me back?_

_What if he doesn't want to break our friendship?_

_What if he's gay?_

Instantly, she was on the grassy ground, clutching her stomach in laughter.

_What if he likes Mikasa? It could happen. They're not blood related._

Without even knowing it, Rin dawned on an envious pout. She decided not to ponder on useless "what ifs" any longer. It was a waste of time and a complete let down. Standing from the ground, she whisked a nervous hand through her stringy bangs and the shade of red already implanted in her face had turn darker. Rin suddenly wanted to run off the edge of a cliff, so strong was the abrupt feeling of self-deprecation. She couldn't believe she was actually allowing herself to submit to such an idiotic conclusion so quickly. Telling him her feelings would either complicate things or…further complicate things.

Yet her mind returned with a vengeance at that moment and Rin could only succumb to the decision her mind was suggesting to rid of the bottled up feelings. She frowned on how willingly she's able to show her heart on her sleeve and she sighed for the umpteenth time that day.

Man…today was going to be an annoying day, she could feel it.

* * *

_I sure do walk…fast_

What was supposed to be a mindless twenty to twenty five minute walk became a ten minute walk—at least to her. Now she found herself anchored to the gravel steps leading to the homely cottage of the Jaegar family, right hand curled into a fist, ready to knock on the door frame. Her shoulders twitched and then stillness settled its heavy shawl on her. Knocking on this door had been a conscientiously daily action in her life and the day she untangles her feelings for Eren is the day where she can't even tap on their door without mentally going pallid.

Preparation, she mentally declared; Preparation to fight and detain that fated blush when he opens that door.

Those words should have sounded more defiant.

Ceasing her senseless banter with herself, Rin finally consented to knocking on the door. She started tapping her fingers on her left thigh hidden under a long navy blue crinkled dress that her mother brought for her—it gets snagged but the wind _way_ too easily—in her patience. She took a deep breath when the click of the door became audible and the door swung open, though she released her breath when a tender and feminine voice responded.

"Hello? Oh, hello Rinora"

Carla Jaegar ended up answering, looking over her with a welcoming smile. She sighed through _slight_ disappointment, thankfully going unnoticed by Carla who just blinked innocently at the little girl. Of course, Rin liked Mrs. Jaegar. She had always thought the woman was beautiful; long black hair loosely pulled to her right side, most of the hair hoarding all the space on her right shoulder with roasted honey eyes. Realizing she had taken a couple moments too long to answer the woman, she coughed.

"Hi Mrs. Jaegar" She swiftly replied. "I was just wondering if Eren was home" Widening her eyes, she reined that statement back into her mouth like a fish on a hook and rearranged it before it could even hit her ears.

"Is Eren and **Mikasa** home?"

How could she possibly forget about Mikasa? She's practically joined to Eren's hip.

Faint hallelujahs filled her mind as that small slipup was overlooked by her again, the woman immediately answering.

"I'm sorry Rinora. I just sent Eren to get some firewood. Mikasa went with him"

Made sense. It was November and she could already feel the weather descending into its nipping coldness—No wonder her father dragged her out of the house to collect fire wood a couple weeks ago. Rin especially hated the sunny dry cold weather overlapping Shiganshina recently. Whenever they get that type of weather, she confirms that Mother Nature is either on her period or is just messing around.

Today's weather was a bit better and more placid though

"Ok then" She murmured. Armin is probably home…

"Though they did say they were going stop by your house on the way"

She straightened herself up, visibly relieved, yet she didn't know whether to feel happy or annoyed at that fact. Probably if she delayed herself a little bit more, she would've met up with them.

_Crap! I was just there!_

She chose the latter and just to indicate a miffed breath puffed out of her, tapping her finger against one folded arm.

"Ok. Thanks Mrs. Jaegar. Bye." Rin rubbed the back of her neck, masking the growing annoyance that came with the fact that she had to go back to her former destination. It was more or so like hunting and she wished that it could be a day where they were actually home or she would find them frolicking the streets near by the inner gates like usual. However, like her father always quoted "Work now, play later".

She blinked in confusion

Or was it "Responsibilities always come first"?

Well it was all an assortment of responsibilities, duties and doing what you have to and what not and the implication concealed in the quote was still embedded into her mind…somewhere…

Turning around fully, she descended the stairs in a flight, but before she could peter out onto the inclined pavements of the street, Carla called out to her, wearing a sheepish smile as if she was admonishing herself about something.

"Tell your father we said thank you for the bread and pastries. They were really delicious and now we have bread to last us for months."

Glancing over her shoulder, she grinned. "No problem! Bye! And tell Mr. Jaegar I said bye too!"

She turned back and continued her way down. It was as if her father's adoration for baking had no limits and reigned over the significance of service, yet that all started because of her. The amicability of offering free bakery goods to the Jaegars and Arlerts had generated from her friendship with their children and soon enough what became an obligation formed into a budding friendship between her parents, The Jaegars and the Arlerts.

Crossing her arms and nodding her head several times, she felt the hubris swell in loads though she knew that her father should be the one experiencing this feeling. She just hoped if her parents allowed her to finally go near the stove, the culinary genius that _hopefully_ resided in her DNA would kick in and steal the show.

_Well anyway, it's time to go find Jack and Jill_

* * *

Rin took in the consideration of probably getting her eyes checked.

There, a good two hills away from her house, stood Eren and Mikasa, underneath the shrouded coolness of a tall tree.

Before she could even take off on a daft speech on how she's blind as a bat, in hindsight she recognized the notion that they probably arrived minutes after she departed. Legs already strolling to their area, her mind already purged the focal reason on why she even bothered to trail them instead of just finding Armin and hanging out with him until turquoise eyes befell on her. Once again, her mind blanked and then filled up in the span of about three seconds.

"Where were you!? We came to your house but your mom said you left!" Eren exclaimed with his signature scowl, Mikasa nodding in truthfulness.

Annoyance flashed briefly across Rin's face in the union of her eyebrows over narrowing eyes. "It's the same with you guys. I came over to your house and your mother said you guys were gone" She examined the wooden carriers stock piled with firewood strapped to their backs. It looked like they had just completed their task.

"Well thanks a lot guys" Rin exaggeratedly let out, turning her head slightly enough so they could glimpse at her playful but wry expression.

"I walked back and forth for you two and now I'm exhausted"

She flopped down onto the grassy mattress the earth provided, both hands behind her head. She closed her eyes before quickly opening one eye slightly, that she could still see Eren and Mikasa. Mikasa stood their soundless as always, but there was a slight grin tugged against her features. Eren fixed her with a glare, a peeved one at that. Though he was vexed, he was staring at her and in that fact alone, she liked it, in a weird way.

Man…she really hoped she wasn't developing a masochistic attitude.

"You're tired!? We walked around this place for hours looking for wood! The grasslands are so freaking big for no reason!"

Unlactching the wooden carrier from his back, he perched himself right next to her. The close proximity had almost made her jump out of her skin. She tried securing the smug face she had on previously and she did, but the blush had crawled through there confines. She quickly sat up; thankfully no one questioned her odd behavior.

"I'm going to look for more wood" Mikasa said, placing her hand on the straps of her own wooden carrier.

Rin's eyes broadened before landing on her.

"W-Wait Mikasa…!" She almost ended up stuttering out. She knew that setting up the atmosphere for Eren and herself wasn't deliberate on Mikasa's part, given by the confused questioning look she was sending her. Though this was a perfect chance to release her feelings just so they wouldn't hinder her from having a normal life, when it came down to it, what was she suppose to say?

After all, Rinora Charles did not let something as stupid as _romance_ make a fool out of her or at least she was trying not to; make her think weird things or twist her mind and feelings into the confusing bog of emotions that they had become.

She was kind of failing

The thought from earlier – the desire to just let out all of her bottled-up feelings and frustration– revisited and Rin leaned her back against the surprisingly smooth bark of the tree.

"Never mind" She sighed and the raven-haired girl went on her way.

Her gaze fell upon the one who haunted her thoughts. He had his hands behind his head like she previously had, eyes half lidded and looking upwards as if he was bored with the sky. With just observing him alone, her stomach and her mind began the slow agonizing twists to obliteration. Why did Rin suddenly feel out of breath? And her pulse started to roar in her ears, to the point where she thought her heart would truly leap out of her chest.

_Tell him. Tell him. _The words echoed in her head almost mockingly, and abruptly, she found herself feeling rather dizzy. She flexed her hands against the thin blades of the grass in the urge to calm her frantically racing heart.

"Hey" She managed to stammer out after she made sure the symptoms of her affection temporarily died down. Her eyes shifted from the grass to houses to clouds to windmills, everything except the object of her affection that laid down beside her.

"I have something to tell you…so you better listen" Of course her rough personality had to turn a confession to more of a demanding threat. She inwardly groaned.

Eren lazily moved his pupils to take a glance at her, head still pointing towards the sky. "Ok. Shoot"

This was it.

Her heart started to react again and with the peculiar sensation of her heart lightening within her chest – a sensation that she once would have pushed aside as nothing but hunger—she placed a palm over her chest to feel it stem through her body.

Crimson rose to her cheeks and this time she didn't try to quell it. She let it settle as if to give him proof that she was serious. Nervousness had flooded every throb of muscle in her chest; she realized for that mere second she couldn't string together her words because of it. She couldn't stand this bashful state she was in, how she now was reduced to a moronic bundle of nerves.

However, it was at the tip of her tongue, the words that could probably change Eren's view on friendship, the words that could make it or break it.

It sort of scared her.

She stood minutes longer, suddenly not knowing what to do or say. Somehow, just sitting down, not saying a word felt too complacent, but telling seemed too risky.

But the prideful part of her, the blunt, the unabashed, the independent side cornered that speck of uncertainty, telling her to stop making excuses and say it already.

She opened her mouth.

"I like you"

Something seemed to sigh in relief within her as the confession passed into reality, but she had to confirm that he knew what she was really getting at.

"I like, like you…more than a friend"

Heat intensified in her cheeks. A beat; then Rin relaxed tangibly, unwinding tense shoulders that she didn't even know were tense. Now he knew the extent of her feelings, a thing that would be there always whether she got rejected or accepted—was that hope growing inside her?—he would always know. She made it known to herself that she didn't really want a relationship with him—while her parents were ok with her dating, she had set her own standards and consider herself to young to even date, the reason why love was way, way, _way, _too strong a word to name her affections—but preparation to build on it to get to that level, knowing that she's saving herself till she's ready.

Complicated yet simple

After a short shut of her eyes and a gentle inhale, she noted that Eren hadn't said a word, even in that long while she spent in her inner musing.

She turned to look at him.

Her shoulders stiffened.

Soft snores whistled from his mouth to his nose, his entire body sprawled out in the grass, his breathing light.

He fell asleep. He fell asleep while she was confessing.

Heartbroken. Hurt. Sad. Annoyance…Anger

Yep, let's go with anger.

"You jerk…!" Rin snarled, rage and disappointment swirling together and injecting an extra burst of energy into her heartbeat. She didn't walk all the way here just for it all to fall on deaf ears. She struggled with the incredulous fury now simmering freely inside her body and transferring its heat into her skin, especially towards her hands.

"Who falls asleep while someone's confessing!? Didn't I tell you to listen, you dummy!"

Just before her trusty fist could wake him up, she froze right in her tracks, scrutinizing his face.

He actually looked…peaceful; nothing around him could mar the pleasant sense he had. She relaxed and wrinkled her nose at the sight of the boy; she fell victim to his tranquil face, at ease as if he was savoring his sleep.

_He really was tired._

She didn't realize it, but if another sentient being was in the vicinity, said being would have witnessed a notable softening of her eyes. Rin allowed her chest to rise and fall a little more slowly as she sighed, trying to suppress her irritation from before, feeling humiliatingly like a dreamy love—not love _dammit!_ _Fancy , _she guessed_—_struck idiot thinking about her crush in that action. She suddenly tore her gaze away, feeling oddly uncomfortable at watching Eren sleep. The discomfort only increased when she felt a surge of warmth along her spine upon doing so.

Hesitantly, she drew closer, half-expecting him to awaken and find her staring right at him; but not so surprisingly, he remained in a near-comatose state of slumber. Feeling more uncomfortable still – yet it was an odd kind of discomfort, something that urged her to just make it increase—and soon enough, even in her embarrassment, an unconscious smile stretched across her face.

"Rin…"

The voice sounding above her head made Rin's whole body flinch with surprise, and she craned her neck back just in time to see a black head appear above her. Rin let out a breath.

"Don't scare me like that, Mikasa" she muttered, shifting her position and looking up at her. A sudden sense of curiosity struck her. "Anyways, what took you so long?"

"I went out a little bit further from where Eren and I stopped" She answered, sounding very calm. She slid into a sitting position next to her. "Is Eren asleep?" Rin gave Eren a sidelong glance. He was still sleeping deeply, but now that she was really looking at him, his face was twitching almost erratically.

"Is he having a nightmare?" She murmured, eyes watching the flat line of his mouth turn into a grimace. Mikasa rounded his other side.

"Eren?"

As if his name was the trigger, Eren's whole body jolted; an inhalation that followed a sharp gasp as if he was in a dire need of oxygen, eyes wide as saucers.

"Huh? Rin? Mikasa?" He groaned, looking up.

"We should head back" Mikasa suggested, standing up.

Steeling himself, he pushed himself onto his hands and knees, shaking his head to try and stave off the small headache that had taken hold of him. Predictably, it didn't work.

"Are you still dreaming?" Rin impatiently asked.

Eren cocked his head to the side. "No, I think I was having a really long dream…" He trailed off as took in the area around him. Back in the grasslands, he huffed in relief. He couldn't really figure much else about the locations in his dreamscape. There was a bunch, as if he was hopping all over the place.

His gaze landed on Rin, who was kneeling beside him.

Immediately, she saw that he was staring. "What?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Was your hair…always like that…?"

Rin grabbed the front of her hair, tresses of it slithering through sculpted gaps. She had to admit that her hairstyle was indeed in fact weird—how it was framed to sit longer and reach past her shoulders in the front but in the back it barely covered the nape of her neck—but on the contrary, she felt it was rather unique…well her _mother_ felt it was rather unique.

A punch in the face served as her response.

"Ow! What the hell was that for!?" Eren demanded, grogginess gone and replaced with irritation.

_For sleeping while I was confessing to you!_ "That stopped you from sprouting anymore nonsense! For a long time you knew me and you're asking a question like that!?" She shook her fist angrily.

Eren rubbed his now red throbbing cheek as he jerked his gaze away from her. _Why does she hit so damn hard!?_ But he couldn't help the sensible frown that came fast on its heels as he recalled—only vaguely—one dream amid his disarray of others; that dream that made him ask that question in the first place.

He was in the grasslands, or it looked like it was. He had to assume because the place held nothing but carpets of grass. He was positioned the same way he was before he fell asleep, leaning back, his arms embracing his head. The sound of footfalls against the grass had made him look up and see Rin, but now that he really thought about it, though it had a touch of blurriness, Rin had appeared to be significantly older. He didn't know which age interval she fell into, but she definitely had to be ahead than the present Rin. Her hair was longer and even her face and body structure—not that he was looking for long—seemed to be that of a woman.

Mikasa and Armin weren't far behind, he could tell by the yellow and black blurs that stood behind her. Though his eyes multiplied the haziness when his stare had travelled towards them, they even looked ahead of their years. Armin stood a couple of notches taller and Mikasa, while her hair remained about the same length, possibly a little bit shorter, she had that womanly touch to her face and body as well.

Then after that was when calamity had taken control of his dreams; snippets of horrifyingly induced events, blood, the _Titans_ that had darted by so rapidly, but still left a fresh imprint in his mind.

"Eren, why are you crying?"

Mikasa observed the stream of glistening liquid that had made its way down his cheeks.

_Huh?_

He gave himself a second to register what she had just said. He brought up his hands and saw that she spoke the truth; tears soiled his fingers. He didn't even feel the wetness let alone feel it prick in his eyes, but it was as if his body subconsciously responded to the oddments of his dream.

Rin snorted aloud, folding her arms across her chest. "Probably crying because I hit him too hard"

At those words, he looked at her, eyes widening in slight indignation "That's not it!"Yet he had no straight answer to fiercely retort back. He didn't know why himself.

"We should head back" Mikasa repeated from earlier, effectively cutting off any chance he could get to justify his thoughts.

Knowing she was waiting for a response, he gave a single nod of acquiescence. "Yeah"

Before springing up from the ground, despite himself, his head tilted in confusion. At that moment, he remembered the words Rin had spoken—almost menacingly—before fatigue had sluiced him into a deep slumber. Eren exchanged a glance with her. "Wasn't there something you wanted to tell me?"

His words had a reaction he did not expect: she drew back very slightly, blinking a couple of times, an expression of nervousness covering her face before being replaced by an embarrass one. Her face had reddened. _Does she have a cold or something?_

"O-Oh, u-u-uh. Don't worry about it. It's nothing important" She blustered, fighting back the warmth that pressured to overtake her at Eren's expression.

Clearly he had noticed her suspiciously timid behavior, a complete contradiction to what she was, but said nothing about it; only lugged his wooden carrier back over his shoulders.

_Probably one of those days._

* * *

"You guys can't tell anyone that I was crying!"

"I won't"

"Not even Armin?"

"Well uh…"

"Not even my parents? I'm pretty sure they won't care"

"Why would you—"

"How about your parents?"

"Rin!"

Teasing him had managed to suppress the lingering anger that remained from the fruitless confession. Her other form of action was to give him sly hints to indicate that she was mad, but Eren was certainly not the person to stoop on to his knees and plead for friendship and or forgiveness, especially if there's a lack of reason behind it. She freed most of it, a fine punch in its name, but somewhere in her echoed dissatisfaction, as if another punch in his face could suffice.

"I agree with Rin".

"With what?" A bemused look crossed Rin's face.

"If he doesn't know why he was crying, he should talk to his parents or at least his dad about it"

"Are you kidding me? I can't tell my dad about that!" Eren yelped huffily.

"What are you crying over, Eren?" The sound of a voice, husky and words almost in slur, made them all look up. Hannes, his unkempt blonde military buzz cut looking even shaggier than ever, stood there. Dressed in his respective uniform that enforced the Garrisons' existence, his face that was perpetually heated—no doubt that alcohol was the victimizer—indicated that he swigged down a cup…or four.

"Hannes" Eren acknowledged.

"Did Mikasa get mad at you or something?" he slurred, raised eyebrows hitting his hairline.

"What the-?"

"Oh, I know. Rin hit you." Hannes abruptly lowered himself to smirk at the children, and they leaned back a little at how disarmingly close he was, so close that they could smell the rum on his breath.

"Why would _that_ make me cry?" Emphasis on that; Rin glared at Eren but his next statement was so blunt and obvious it nearly made her laugh aloud. "You stink of booze" That was then a round of laughter buoyed ahead of them coupled with the sound of clanking cups.

"All of you are drinking again?" Eren queried wryly. It was more a statement than a question as if he wanted Hannes to hear the discontent buried in his tone.

"Yeah, wanna join us?" Clearly, his words were lost on a semi-drunken Hannes. Aside from the fact that he momentarily just offered alcohol to a group of minors, the urge to bop the back of a certain Jaegar's head came at the stutter that sounded like he was actually contemplating the man's proffer; and also the maddening urge to interlock hands with him. A grunt escaped Rin. Forgetting _that_ urge in three, two, one…

She looked at Hannes, the look only gently condescending. "Aren't you on duty?"

"Yeah, we're watching the gates today! We've been there all day though. Started to get hungry and thirsty, so we took a break" _An extended one_. Her eyes followed one of the men that broke out of the drunken trio circle to fetch another bottle…nestled right at his ankle.

Eren stared irritably at him, his neck craned out to glower properly, though the effect was deadened at the evident height difference. "How are you going to fight if you're drunk!?"

Rin could see the discomfort twisting its way onto his face; curiosity had attempted its way to show. But nonetheless he responded, in spite of the mild annoyance that she was sure cloaked all of them. And it was beginning to grow. "Huh? When would we have to fight?"

Rin rolled her eyes. She chose not to dignify his overtly obvious question with a response—a snarky one at that—because Eren had jumped to take the place.

"Did you really just ask that!? When they break the wall and come in!"

The bustle of Shiganshina had filled the fleeting air void of any noise between the man and the three kids. Rin self-consciously pushed her bangs out of her eyes, only for them to fall back again when she raised her head to stare at the entity of protection that blocked half of the sky. Not only the wall, but its inhabitants, carrying out their daily lives. In where she loved this town; she wouldn't have met the people she held dear if she didn't move here, she noticed something.

Nearly everyone had openly snuggled up to the warmth that ignorance provided.

It was the same recycled comment on how the Titans haven't broken in for a hundred years, so just sit on your bum and wait for another Titan-free century to drag on by.

Ridiculous and drastic to the point that any reading, mentioning, commenting, citing, writing—generally any affiliation to the world beyond these walls lands in the category of being a taboo. Though Rin had never seen a Titan in the ten years she breathed life, her body seized the alertness just by pondering on the word.

They trusted in the walls blindly and erased the Titans from everyday thought.

"Eren, don't say stuff like that out loud" Hannes chided through the silence, ignoring the blazing glare sent towards him.

"If it isn't Mr. Jaegar's son and Mr. Charles daughter" Drunken member #2, whose name Rin had embarrassingly forgotten, approached them, amusement playing across the lines of his face, spiteful though it looked. "You kids have spirit. If they do end up breaking the walls, of course we'll do our jobs. But you do know that not once in the past hundred years or so has a Titan broken in, right?" He continued, stapling his hands to his gear clad hips.

Rin felt an irrational burst of annoyance; that redundant re-used excuse that everyone uses to reimburse their laziness and unawareness.

"Still! My dad said its times like these where we're in the most danger!"

Hannes looked at them, drawn by Eren's paraphrased words of his father. "Dr. Jaegar said that?" He blinked and sudden skepticism held his face.

"Well, he could be right. He did save the town from a plague. We can't thank him enough…But these Titans are a different story" No doubt, Grisha Jaegar was a man who encompassed wisdom and his opinions were definitely valuable in peoples' perspectives, but this era was a blessing, a blessing that Hannes did not want to vanish just because of someone's—influential in demeanor—premonitions.

"I see Titans walking around all the time when I mend the walls, but I don't think they can really do anything about this 50-meter wall"

"So you don't even have the will to fight!?" Whatever further argument he had would be dulled when Eren got like this. Eren was even panting a little with the force of repressed anger, yet Hannes saw no sense in worrying over something that is never bound to happen.

"Nope" He was frank about it, unashamed almost.

Rin pointed at them, doubling her look. "Then you should stop calling yourselves the Garrisons and call yourselves the Useless Wall Menders"

"That has a nice ring to it" He teased, allowing himself a closed mouth chuckle that longed to escape his throat. "You see kids, when people see soldiers fighting, they know something bad is happening. It's a much happier place when we're doing nothing and people are calling us useless freeloaders."

As he spoke, Rin realized more truth lurked behind his statement than what she had previously assumed. Hysteria was an inevitable reaction if something bad did take place. Instead of fear, strife and disorder, they would rather accept ignorance, peace and insults. Ignorance is bliss and they wanted to be happy.

Much as it pained her to admit, Hannes had a point.

He was right, but that didn't mean she had to like it. By the way Eren clenched his fist and furrowed his eyebrows, it was clear he didn't like it that much either.

"What Hannes said! That's why I don't get those guys from the Scouting Legion, going outside the wall and crap. It's like they get high from playing warfare or something!" Drunken member #3 piped up.

At the utter of Scouting Legion, Rin spun her head to gaze at Eren, knowing full well the effect the group had on him and his snappish behavior to anyone who demeaned their name. She could understand. The Scouting Legion was the only group out of the whole military who had the balls to wander outside even with those carnivorous terrors roaming about. It was quite cowardice for people to look down on them.

The look that he portrayed was far from what she expected however. His turquoise eyes still whirled with the repressed anger that had been stifling his body, but he flattened out his face, passive, as if all his impatience with the man vacuumed out of him and went elsewhere. It startled her, though outwardly she kept her scowling expression.

"Even if we can't get outside these walls, we still get food, water and sleep, enough for us to stay alive." He bit his lip, but kept his grave look. "But we're living…like livestock"

With those words, Eren walked past Hannes, Rin and Mikasa in tow. He watched the backs of the three children, mostly Eren, as they walked away slowly. The analogy he used spiked Hannes's chest with a lingering feeling. Quickly his friends denounced it as child's talk, but Hannes took the moment to put in some thought. He looked at the wall, then at the hearty food stands, the wall once more and then his friends who continued on with their card game Black jack. He hated that game. He always lost. Probably gambling wasn't one of his qualities.

Neither was idling around doing nothing all day…like _live stock_

"Hey Hannes! Where ya going?" His friends took notice of his leave.

"Going back to my post" He answered with a subtle wave of his hand

_Eren…his he planning on joining the Recon corps?_

* * *

"Eren, I don't think you should join the Recon Corps"

It was a sudden say, a sever in the silence that had stalked them after their stop with Hannes. Mikasa did not voice one word during that conversation, but she observed for that was one of her specialties, observing people. The playful mood of the conversation went south for the winter as soon their eyes landed on the guards drowning themselves in alcohol. From Rin's peeved scowl at one of the guard's comments to Eren's irritation at an ignorant Hannes to his reaction to the guards ridicule of the Scouting Legion—a faint one that is. It even surprised her—she noted that Eren's words stamped, well something in his person.

It was all because Eren wanted to join the Recon Corps, the most dangerous out of all of them, with death rates higher than the walls themselves. When he had told Armin, Rin and herself that he wanted be a part of the Corps, her face had smoothed out and gelled in sinking gloom, to the point people barreled her with fits of concern.

It was just like him to do that, reckless as always

_But if he wasn't like that_

Mikasa face dived into the satin crimson waves attached to her neck.

She surfaced from her thoughts just in time to catch the sound of a shocked grunt coming from Eren, eyes widened.

"What!? You think they're stupid too!?"

"I'm not saying they're stupid or anything. It's just—"

"Just what? You think I'm stupid for wanting to join them!?" Eren prompted. To his frustration, she gave no other response. "What about you Rin!?" He swung his eyes to her. Rin shrugged, but couldn't help her lax mouth sag in seconds. She gave him a patient look and just to see that sight, he almost choked on his spit. Clearly, patience was something that she was short of.

"I like them. They're cool and brave, but probably you—"

The town bell chimed, traveling through the whole town. Monotonous and dull like it has been rung times too many, yet peoples' face lit a glow at the tired yawn of the bell. They knew it featured the Recon Corps' return from their voyage.

Eren's face swelled in glee. "The front gate is opening! They're back! Let's go!"

Rin's violet eyes had detected a flicker of movement before something warm squeezed her hand and she felt herself being pulled forward. She barely held back a start of surprise, breath caught in her throat on how shockingly warm his touch was; and the heat that oozed into her cheeks completed the reaction at the way he'd taken her off guard. The urge that she'd contained earlier returned tauntingly on how her spur was almost fulfilled. All she had to do was mimic the squeeze and she did, tenderly that even her mind wondered if she was an imposter.

A stray indigo eye left its post, hesitantly aware that a pair of coal black eyes could be watching her. To her intense relief, Mikasa wasn't but right then and there all combusted into flurries of jealousy and regret at the sight of Eren tugging her hand as well.

_Well…I feel like a complete idiot_

Rin cringed at how stupid she sounded, but oddly, she chose not to chide herself on their haste to get to the front gates. Listlessly, she allowed Eren to take the front position and guide them.

* * *

It wasn't exactly a parade

Usually when heroes return from a perilous voyage, a fanfare of blithe and praise echoes the town and the people exhale nothing but lauds and telltales of the valiant that had gifted the town with their glory.

The sense of dread came in like a rolling tide, pouring and maudlin-like that the sea of faces had all bared the same expression; quiet contempt. Eren had complained that he couldn't see through the throng of villagers, so the three children had found boxes to stand on to see the green clad members.

Rin froze. Her ability to speak shut down, causing her mind to flood to the brim with everything she saw.

Worn, Tattered, Bloody; the scene colored her eyes mercilessly. Bandages coated everyone, not one person unmolested by them and blood blotches that were shared by all. The soldiers marched, no, trudged forward, shoulders hunched to the invisible weight of anxiety and faces crumpled to what could only be described as solemn.

Some were mounted on horses and a cart was being pulled behind the envoy. Rin saw the person in there; bandaged of course and she was certain that legs weren't suppose to bend that way.

To say that they were supposed to be a regiment, there weren't many of them. A gaggle at best; probably with fifteen soldiers to their name. Rin directed her eyes to the floor and felt her heartbeat spike with the force of her fervent hope that people wouldn't obviously ask why their brigade dwindled into basically nothing. The truth was there in the loss masses and just thinking about it had almost made her want to trot away from the crowd.

Of course who was she to command fate?

"So few of them are returning"

"There were a more than a hundred of them when they left."

"There are not even twenty of them"

"All the others probably got eaten."

Rin furrowed her eyebrow, about ready to tell the people in front of her to shut their traps before a cry floated above the distraught silence. A woman, quite old to say, emerged from the crowd.

"Moses!? Moses!?" She cried out, and the sound of running footsteps on cobble stone rang out. "Where's my son? I don't see him anywhere. Please, where is he?"

The man the woman had approached appraised her cautiously, a slither of nervousness appeared on his face, but just like a loose thought, it came and fleeted. The way he tore his eyes away after a scant few moments of eye contact and the silence that permeated the air had the woman blink periodically.

"It's her, Moses's mother" he clipped. "Bring it here"

A frown creased her brow and it intensified when they dropped a package in her gnarled hands. A shadow casted over her face fearfully just by the well-known crimson color that holed the cloth and the knowing feeling had leaked most of the oxygen out of her frail lungs; the last amount came out as a weak gasp. Trembling all over like a cold wet dog, she fussed with the cloth keeping the identity of the object tightly wrapped.

Only to shrink back and swiftly cover it back.

It had to be something bad; reduced to her knees, howling in grief.

It was a severed arm.

Tiny pangs had started to boom in Rin's skull as she stared at the men's lack of response—what could they say in this situation?—but of course she dwelled more on the old woman kneeling in the middle of the crowd. Seeing her like that replaced the minor banging in her head with twinges of a whole new kind.

It took her moment to call those twinges sympathy.

It made her want to cry.

"That was the only thing we could recover"

Once again, silence. The desperate cries of a mother in mourning covered it for several minutes.

"But he was useful, right? My Moses, he was useful, wasn't he?! He…might have not been a hero, but…he at least died helping mankind fight back, right!?" She questioned madly, her voice still ringing clear and true in spite of her inconsolable sobs.

"Of course..!"

The wind slapped his skin, mostly his face, dangling curled feeble leaves and chucking dust and sand collected from the ground into his already bruised face. He shielded his eyes.

_Don't lie_

Malicious yet honest, the voice had and the man took his limited time to think about the origin of the voice; whether it was his moral subconscious stubbornly hissing or some kind of unknown deity possessed the wind and talked through it. The former made much more sense—he wasn't a religious nutball like some of these people. He had to say something; the hopeful curiosity found in her drenched gaze made him feel guilty. "No…even after all of our missions" He added in a ragged cry.

"We still haven't made any progress!"

The truth had swept their turmoil in a rather gentle wind; it contradicted the all but shocked expression etched on everyone's face. Rin slowly turned her head to her crush and friend—momentarily forgetting their existence—to see their reactions. It was the same as everyone else's.

No one uttered a word, too caught up in the sudden revelation. They just let the man barrel on heedlessly.

"I'm a failure! I've just gotten soldiers killed left and right! We haven't learned one damn thing about the Titans!"

As it was, she surfaced from her own shock and watched the faded forms of the Recon Corps, leaving the women there in the wake of their dust.

* * *

"Well…that was heavy" someone muttered aloud against the silence.

"Seriously"

"That's what they get for going outside the walls."

Stepping off the towered box, Rin glanced up at some of the townspeople who still gathered after the whole episode. It was maddening, she scowled, on how people talked about the horrors so lightly. As long as the force of the truth didn't rudely disrupt their lives, everything was peachy for them.

She threw a single narrowed eye their way, but the near close slit eye widened in mirth when Eren took a big old stick and whacked one of the people gabbing on about how useless the Recon Corps are. Before the man could show an example of child abuse, Mikasa swiftly dragged Eren away by the ripple layers of his sweater. Before Rin followed, she looked at the red faced man, red faced man looked back; she couldn't resist her childish barb. She stuck her tongue out and pulled down one of her eyes.

"You goddamn kids!" The man roared.

Careening through a small alleyway that soon widened out into an average size path, Rin snickered behind a palmed hand, but at the sound of a painful grunt, she raised her head from curved confine just to witness Eren fly into a wall, wood jumping everywhere.

At first worry had rolled its hold before she peered around a concrete corner to see the raven-haired culprit standing there, zero care given. The snicker that had lost to worry came back. Today was _definitely_ abuse Eren day.

"What the hell was that for!? Look at all the wood!" He yelled. "Stop laughing!" She simply muffled it.

"Eren, you still plan on joining the Recon Corps? You haven't changed your mind, right?"

The way Mikasa worded the question seemed rhetorical with a hint of a chastise tone overlapping it. With a start, Eren recognized the insistent look on her face, an expression that told him to say yes, after what all three of them just saw. He fought back a sigh as that fact registered itself in his mind and couldn't help thinking that, yes he saw the small amount that returned and yes it was horrifying to even think about the tribulations that gave them that outcome, but something he couldn't even name had eagerly sliced through the fear and uncertainty that had once cluttered his mind. Whatever it was, it made him sure of what he wanted.

_To see the outside world_

"Just help me pick these up" he replied instead, steeling himself and locking his gaze with the floor, but shortly had drifted to the light orange haired girl who stood minutely still. He found it surprising that she didn't wedge in a jibe or even a comment to anything, but he already established that she was off today.

"Why are you just standing there? Aren't you going to help?" He called.

Broken out of her trance, if not by the faint broaden of her eyes that returned to normal less than a second later, she slowly paced over.

"Yeah, yeah. There's not much anyway. Mikasa is carrying like three-fourths of the load"

"Shut up!"

* * *

"We're home!" Eren announced, Mikasa and him walking inside.

Both parents glanced over their shoulders, one from their work and one from cooking, smiling. "Welcome back" Carla replied charitably, once she had checked the lunch she was cooking had been spared by her diversion of attention. Eren took a big sniff, the spread of spices tickling his senses and sighed in content.

Yes. Beef Stew.

His stomach squealed in agreement.

While Mikasa went to go wash her hands, he took both carriers and made his way to the firewood storage resting next to the fireplace. It was to his pleasure that she stopped by the sink; uninvited, Rin's remark had made a stay too long in the forefront of his mind and ever so _not_ gently poking at his corner made for manhood. Begrudgingly—_dammit_—she was right. Mikasa's pile was at least a head taller than his, but he could've carried that excess amount of wood. It was that he was _really_ tired and didn't get much sleep last night.

It wasn't only Mikasa. Rin's mouth was the direct definition of sassy, but she had the strength to back it up someone's ass and around the corner.

_Stupid girls who think they're stronger than me. _

"Wow Eren. I'm surprised you gathered this much firewood today" Carla said, wiping her hands clean from any cooking filth.

Eren quickly ducked his head, knowing that his readable face was going to be the one to destroy the thin line of credit he was receiving. "Y-Yeah" He let out clumsily.

Carla inclined her head amusingly at her son, looking at the bright red that curled up in his ears. A playful grin took over her face.

What kind of mother would she be if she couldn't tell whether or not her son was telling a bull face lie?

Pinching one delicate red ear and tugging it, she only made her grin wider when he griped in surprise and slight pain. "What was that for?" He cried, guarding his ear from any more harm.

"Your ears are red. That means you're lying" She chuckled. "Mikasa helped didn't she?"

In response, Eren directed a pouty glare to the ground, thrown in with a grumble. Carla kept her smile intact at her son's endearment—that was soon going to lose its keep in a few years. Puberty *_sigh_*but she'll venture down that road when it certainly comes.

Eren and Mikasa took their seats at the wooden table, waiting for their lunch. After a few moments, during which the sound of the stove dying down rumbled throughout the area and unhurried noises of bowls being set, Grisha set his pen down. A sharp exhalation, whose pitch and guttural emergence gave it more than a hint of exasperation, came from the man. Hearing the less than happy sound, Eren surfaced from his meal and gazed up at his father only to notice him packing his briefcase.

"Huh? Dad, are you heading out?" He asked.

"Yeah, I have to go see someone in the inner walls. I'll be back in two or three days." Grisha answered.

Mikasa's contemplative mood faded at once. Recalling how he had told Armin, Rin and herself in secrecy, she couldn't hold back a flinch of betrayal, but it was all for his own good.

"Eren wants to join the Recon Corps"

Carla's mouth fell wide open, refusing to even let out a horrified gasp. Grisha remained still. The emerald stare he fixed on Mikasa carried only the telltale narrow of anger, but she didn't shy away from it.

"Mikasa you traitor!"

"Eren!" Carla flung herself at her son, hooking his skinny shoulders to her clenching grip. The will fire that a mother could muster blazed and swallowed her eyes alight, her normal dulcet eyes gone from her ire.

"What're you thinking?! Do you know how many people died from going outside those walls!?"

"I do!"

"Clearly you don't!"

"Eren" Both mother and son alike turned towards the man who stared questioningly at his son.

"Why do you want to go outside?"

His voice was terse but the kindling curiosity and parental worry roped in his inquiry had Carla lighten up on her scrunch and for mere seconds, Eren blessed the rationality his father had.

"I want to see and understand the world outside! I don't want to die inside these walls not knowing what's out there!" His eyes took up seriousness like no other; Grisha was almost startled.

"If no one here wants to pick up where they left off, then those who lost their lives died in vain!"

He was so eager and his eyes were so _green_; it strained to be set forth and the yearn to question, learn and discover as well. The gleam that took its fulsome place in his son's eyes stood solid and without knowing its gleam had made a reflection in too his own eyes. He couldn't be more pride to be this boy's father. To his credit, Grisha only seemed to struggle with the desire to pry further before letting it go.

"I see" He came out at last. He rose and began walking towards the door. "My ship will be here soon. I must get going"

"Wait, Honey…!" Carla ran after her parting husband who had already perched a hat on his head. "Talk some sense into Eren!"

"Carla, nothing can suppress a human's curiosity" Before she could pursue on, he affectionately leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, drawing out a miffed feeling how she could be so placated by the simple hand of affection. At the instant, the smile on her face evaporated that feeling and being her tidy self, she fixed his overcoat that fell lazy on him. "Hurry and come back, alright"

He nodded and then fully turned around to Eren and Mikasa. "Eren" A neutral coating over the call of his name, but Eren felt the urgent need to stand at his father's voice.

"After I've returned, I'll show you the basement that I've been keeping you away from"

Grisha fiddled with a key wrapped around his neck. At the sight of the object, a bright smile grew on Eren's face, cheeks bunched up at the force of it; the basement that his father would never ever let him go into. The room always held an enigmatic aura, but if he had so much as a thought to step on that starting stair, his father would be there in a flash. Sometimes he thought about thieving the key while his parents were asleep, but better judgment jabbed relentlessly in his skull—that and his father had various of hiding spots, one for each night.

"Really!?" He finally asked, disbelief choking his voice for a second.

A simple nod from Grisha confirmed; he then spun around and took his leave. They all went outside and watched his receding form from the plane of the concrete stairs, Eren waving much more excitedly from the rest.

As soon as he was seen no more, turquoise eyes crossed wheat gold in rising tension and adamancy, a trait that Carla couldn't help but be irritant at herself for passing down to her son.

"I won't allow it" There was a strict edge to her voice; the common tone for a parent punishing their child. "You're not going to join something so stupid like the Recon Corps!"

"Stupid!?" Eren bristled. "People who are happy with living like livestock are even more stupid!"

Without another word he turned on his heel and broke into a run, leaving his stunned mother and adopted sister. Carla felt a sigh compress out of her, one of surrender and frustration before swerving to Mikasa, the girl watching Eren who had just became a brown streak in her vision. Sinking down to her eye level, nothing but worry flooding her face, she mimicked what she had done to Eren moments before, but instead of it being out of anger, it was out of maternal concern.

"Mikasa, you know he's a reckless boy. When trouble comes, please look out for each other."

Something seemed to melt away from Mikasa's face. It wasn't the balk of sympathy that ached her at Carla's expression, or the frustration that tingled every time Eren wouldn't listen to anyone. It was worry that was easily taken over by her newfound resolve.

Carla was entrusting Eren to her

And of course she would do everything in her power to protect Eren, just like he did for her—a small tug on her scarf.

Because that's what families do

Mikasa dipped her head in understanding and went on her way to catch up to the troublesome boy.

* * *

Whoever ordered this amount of bread must be hungry, Rin thought, laziness in her stride.

Going to her father's bakery to help out did not bother her— she was practically a free worker—; in fact since her mother came down with the flu, the need to go was enforced.

After saying her goodbyes to Eren and Mikasa, she walked and then arrived at the shop, where her father was carrying sacks of flour into the store. Taking heed of her appearance, he grinned but not the official "I'm happy you're here" grin. In tandem he scratched the back of his head; the two behavioral responses had made Rin frown.

At that moment she knew that Lukas H. Charles was going to force a duty against her will.

He swept one hand out in an extravagant gesture to the three squared brown paper bags packed with bread sitting on the table. A _damn _delivery. Just when objections and excuses about the amount she had to bear rung out, Lukas countered with family genetics.

"High levels of physical strength come from both my side and your mother's side, so there's no doubt that you have it." He argued.

As objections still continued to leak out, Lukas grinned more, much more that his daughter thought it was creepy. Before the creepiness could reach its full potential, she grabbed the bags and ran out the door.

Now, ten minutes later, Rin was trying to remember the address her father had given her before he unveiled his well-hidden creepiness. In her idleness, it fluttered out her mind.

_690 St..en? Sten Street? Was it Sten Street? Man why couldn't he write it on a piece of paper!?_

A stampede of footsteps kicked her out of her train of thought before she saw a group of boys running, heads steered backwards as if something were chasing them. The inevitable happened; a downpour of bread, grunts of pain everywhere, four kids sprawled on the floor.

"Ouch…!" She grunted, rubbing her head who had unfortunately taken the brunt of the fall.

"Watch where ya going, ya retard!" One of the boys bellowed.

Slowly bracing herself to her feet, a moment of scrutiny passed by before Rin realized it was those neighborhood bullies who always—it's like they have a calendar which days to pick on him or not—harassed Armin; the neighborhood bullies that she took tremendous pleasure into beating down.

Pasted on her face was an evil smirk, a smirk that solely promised pain; they didn't even have to open their eyes to sense the fearsome aura that loomed over them, but they did anyway.

"You know the ones that actually bump into the person are the retards" She hissed.

Their faces turned as white as chalk.

"Crap! When we just escaped from Mikasa, we run into Rin!?"

"Hurry, let's get the hell out of here!" With what was left of their non-existent dignity, they scrambled away. "I hope Armin's ok. That guy did mention Mikasa so he's probably with them. I'll join them after I'm done with shop duties" Un-amused violet eyes leaped from each downed loaves scattered amuck. A breeze nonchalantly floated by and her gaze on the food twitched a little.

Now did she really have time to go all the way back and get a new batch or rather did she really _want_ to go all the way back and get a new batch.

"What they don't know won't hurt them" Rin eased, flinging the loaves into the bag

* * *

Rin lifted her head and saw that late sunset, all but obscured by clouds, currently was coiling itself into the sky's pale blue tint in a soft mix of pink, orange and red.

"It's that late already…?" Rin stretched her limbs after just finishing sweeping inside and outside of the bakery. After she returned—she didn't breathe one word about the bread to her father— the rest was the usual for the shop. There was never a day in where the bakery wasn't busy and swarming with activity but for some reason today people decided to make bread and pastries their three meals of the day.

Just a very, very hectic day

Once again she gazed upwards into the sky. She couldn't meet up with them now. She stayed here too long, she told herself and winced when her stomach gave an emphatic rumble; and it was dinnertime.

_It's basically the end of the day and Eren still doesn't know how you feel about him__,_ her conscience reminded her so suddenly and randomly. Rin shoved it aside with an audible growl and turned away, broom in hand, back to the shop at a steady pace.

The voice was right, though. And that little realization shadowed her back to the shop.

"Ready to go home?" Lukas asked, dusting his hands from flour residue. "I probably have to start on dinner tonight. Good thing I caught that deer. Your mother said she wanted venison"

All Eren related thoughts dissolved and she bounced on her feet at the mention of the meat.

"Yup!" She laughed. "Knowing mom, she probably would've tried to cook it already" Both father and daughter joined in laughter because her mother was one strange woman.

They exited the store, Lukas locking the door and jiggling it to assure security. Rin looked upwards, nothing in mind until her lilac pupils halted at the infamous wall; something odd had struck her.

Long red rods, five in counting, embedded itself onto the rim of the wall, so much that beneath it, cracks started to form. Puffy white smoke held its place in the air. Rin, at first, dismissed it as clouds, but as she considerably looked at it, the smoke was very steamy. Just then, a meaty head slowly peeked over; she was met with beady eyes and even more smoke.

It didn't take her long to figure out that the red rods were fingers.

Her lips became arid and her eyes dilated. "Dad…what is that?" Why did she ask a question she already knew the answer to?

Rin didn't get to hear or neither see his reaction. A powerful whirlwind blasted them.

* * *

**I've been on Shingeki no Kyojin like drug addicts on drugs and I know that once I love something I'm making fanfiction. I don't know if I'm going to continue The Gifted. Have you guys ever been in a phase where all of a sudden you have a rekindled obsession on some sort of series for a short period of time. Yeah...that was me with ATLA. My love for Snk/Aot has been going strong ever since April so I don't know if it'll happen to me or not. I'll definitely post a picture of Rin when she's 10 and when she's 15 sooner or later**

**NOTE*(must read): If I do continue with this (hopefully), the trainee days will** **NOT **** be in this story. There would be a spawn to it called Pathway to Ascension where that will have the three years of training until graduation.**  


**Reviews are loved...!**


	2. Days of Sorrow (Part 1)

_**Disclaimer: Rin and others you don't know: Mine. Eren, Mikasa and everyone else you do know: Isayama. Simple.**_

* * *

_**Chapter 2: Days of Sorrow (Part 1)**_

"_We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them."_

- _**Christian**_ _**Nestell Bovee**_

* * *

_On that day, mankind was reminded that we lived in fear of the Titans and also we were disgraced to live in these cages we called walls._

* * *

As the light spots cleared away from her vision, Rin groaned, shaking her head at the dizziness that had suddenly assailed her. Trailing the light spots, a pasty orange stained her lids and curiosity had gently pried on her eyes till they were half lid, satisfied with just that. Nonetheless, that minor action instilled a huge amount of pain that Rin almost lost the simple motive to breathe and it took every thread of her being to capture a mouthful of air. A few coughs here and there because ashes poisoned the air.

She didn't know why the earth beneath her felt flimsy; probably because she had tried to dull the pain her head and back underwent. It helped only slightly. _What's happening? We were…_

The energy she was willing to give only allowed twitching, so she twitched and focused her pupils with half her vision, other dimmed in darkness. Brown blurs whizzing past, kicking up dust in their haste; she knew they were shoes.

People were running away.

_From what again…? _ Something seemed to flicker in the back of Rin's mind, a realization that carried so much weight behind it that it nearly toppled her. When she tried to get a hold on it, though, it evaded her and scuttled off into the shadows. She chased it just a little further, but it kept slipping.

"Run! The Titans are inside the walls!"

Her eyes widened to the extent that it burned.

She had to get up. **Now**.

_Come on. Come on! _ Her heart beat and breathing accelerated to unhealthy levels. She pushed her muscles, bursting energy to her flesh that ached and with a loud cry she bolstered herself onto her hands. "Ouch!" Pain spiked immensely in her right arm. Gritting her teeth, Rin glanced at her arm through squinted pain soaked eyes. Lifeless it was. It swung and flopped unnaturally.

_No…no, no, no, my arm…it can't be broken!_

Rin reared her head back, crying out loud once more before steeling herself to her feet in a slow raise until her feet had adjusted to the ground. Her right arm dangled back and forth; it really was broken. Her mind had shut itself down, seemingly only able to think about the situation before her.

She had to find her father.

Just thinking of her shape, a desperate kind of worry sat on her face for her father. This worry sprouted dreaded speculations in her mind left and right like none before. She started to run.

_When I find him, he's going to be perfectly fine and we'll both get Mom and go!_

The attempt at optimism fell down sadly.

"Dad!" Her throat was dry and all just came out as a desperate croak. "Dad!"

She leaned against a stone wall a little ways down near a store, hand grabbing at her heart that felt like it was about to burst; it was pumping so loudly that she could hear it thrum in her ears. Blood started to rise below her skin, staining her cheeks and hands a light red as she inhaled hoarsely.

"Ri…Rinora."

The soft gruffness of the voice snapped Rin out of her ventilation. She turned to find the source and immense relief washed over at the sight of Lukas leaning against a barrel.

"Dad!" She fell to her knees and held her father's hand with her good hand.

"Rinora…thank goodness you're alright" His eyes noticed the limp in her right arm. "Oh my God your arm…"

She bit her lip in sadness. "It hurts, but we have to hurry and get out of here! The Titans are coming!" She tugged at his hand but she didn't feel the tightening grip that would usually be felt when helping a person up. With that, she glanced back at Lukas to see that he wasn't budging; not even one effort to move. His head was down, sandy blonde hair concealing his face.

"Dad!" This time there was a more than a hint of panic in her voice. "Come on! The Titans are coming! We have to go so we can get Mom and be safe!" She added for good measure.

"I…I love you…so very much." He whispered despite the situation. Rin's eyes scrunched up.

"I love you too Daddy! We have to go!" She demanded, her voice trembling audibly even above all the screaming. She took a more firm grip around his arms and started hauling him up, putting her apparently high physical strength to the test.

She froze.

Protruding from her father's back was a colossal piece of glass, serrated and spiky and sharp, the finest touch could slice off fingers. It was in so deep and she shivered at seeing her father's back painted crimson red.

Complete and utter terror seized her face.

Denial dramatically shot her mind, her gaze never faltering, as though just the power of her gaze could make him jump up and start running.

"This is not happening" Rin told herself aloud, crawling toward Lukas on her hand and knees. All of a sudden, despite his apparent halt in the world of the living, disbelief was choosing now to rise up inside her and wreath itself about her chest and stomach.

"Someone please! Help my dad!"

She coughed and choked; she was the one sounding like a dying man, her throat raspy, she couldn't scream properly. Gulping her saliva to hydrate the dry desert that was her throat, her voice broke through the raucous barrier.

"Please!"

She huffed and puffed. It was hopeless however. Everyone was caught up in running and their own survival, not one person was willing to be a Good Samaritan.

"Y-Y-You're gonna be f-fine D-Dad…you c-can't…" The rest fell into slurs and broken whimpers. As it was, though, she only lowered her head, letting her already-long bangs shield her eyes from her father's aching. A loud hiccup escaped her, a hiccup that trembled with heavy sobs and whistled sniffles. Her tears were hot and singed a trail on her skin mixing in with the snot that drizzled down her nose shamelessly.

Rin nearly reached forward, not a single sane thought whispering, her left hand heading for the wretched glass piece who was taking her father away from her. She couldn't bear it. But something caught her hand, and she looked up to see Lukas shake his head, something like grief on his face. It took her a moment to register he had stopped her hand with his.

Hearing his daughter's heart-filled sobs made tears prick at his drained lids, but he feebly inhaled a shaky breath. Even that was consuming what was left of him, fast.

"G-G-Go to ….your m-mother..." He had to pick his words carefully; any spiteful second could be his last.

"I can't leave you here!" She cried, planting her face into his chest.

She instantly regretted it.

His heartbeat was shallow, barely ricocheting off his ribcage, more like someone humming in a crowd of people who are screaming. Rin had to bury her ear just to hear it. Simultaneously, his breathing was thinning out, labored breaths descending to wheezy squeaks.

More tears left her eyes as she sealed them shut and let a sob crawl up her throat and out her lips, making her choke on air in retraction. The blue of her father's eyes, she imagined looking at him, seemed to drown Rin in a crushing and roaring ocean that beat the air from her lungs

With what remained, he inched out an arm, any arm that he could still feel the sense of touch. Rin saw this out of her periphery; her fingers clenched his shirt underneath her when the arm met her body in an embrace.

_I had a life that any man could wish for_

_I met a beautiful person._ He thought about his wife, Melusina.

_I got a beautiful daughter. _ He thought about Rin, smiling instead of weeping.

_I made my dream a reality. _He thought about his first bakery shop.

_Yes… it was a good life_

He knew his life clock stopped ticking.

Like a gentle fountain, blood overflowed at the rim of his bottom lip and peeked through the slim opening of his mouth, running over his bottom lip down to the journey of his chin. His pooled blue eyes had been wiped from any shimmer and the arm that had tenderly held his daughter slumped.

Rin still didn't let go.

"Kid!" A curly haired man ran to the scene. He had regarded her with a mixture of fright and awareness. "Hey Kid!" He repeated. "What the hell are you doing hugging a corpse!?" He observed the body and the dark blot where Rin had her head. _He must be the kid's father_. His muse was cut short though.

A 10 meter titan was edging the corner, leering at them from afar like fresh meat.

His eyes became huge in horror.

Sympathized condolences to the corpse arrived and fleeted. He gripped the sad girl around the waist and dragged her away.

"No w-wait…" She quivered. Her head spun around to look at the man who was her savior, but in her eyes, insignificant. She regained her voice, though still muggy all around.

"What're you doing!? There's a heartbeat, my Dad is still alive!"She struggled determinedly, but to no avail.

The stranger shut his ears from any rebuttals and his iron grip rendered her ability to concentrate on her father, him becoming just a mere undistinguished figure in her view. She held out her hand as if her hand could grasp her father's entire entity, to resuscitate him, to scoop together the remaining amount of her energy flitting in her and give it to him. Her heart began to blaze in agony so much that she thought it would incinerate itself.

The titan easily loomed over him.

"DAD!"

* * *

When everything went to hell, Eren didn't have one selfless thought of running away.

When the red Colossal Titan effortlessly thrust his foot into the outer gate as though it was a flimsy piece of paper, a shower of boulders and debris speckled the sky, boding destruction and fear.

Because everyone one knew the outcome of a gaping hole in the wall.

"The Titans are inside the walls!"

The yell that elicited the domino effect on everyone's fear.

While everyone was running, Eren's jaw became slack; his pupils shivered and he stared at the chaos in a horrified stupor. In the sprinkling of boulders, one specific boulder suspended in the air before it chose a spot to spread its damage; He pinpointed the location with his mouth dropped and working uselessly for a few seconds.

"My house…is over there…" He squeezed breathlessly. He tactlessly walked uphill, against the flowing tide of people that had knocked into him without a thought. His fingers had stiffened along with his shoulders. "Mom is…." Eren dashed off.

"Eren!" Armin bellowed. Not even a second later, Mikasa followed after him.

"Mikasa!" Armin ineffectively raised his hand to his parting friends, but his concerned calls fell into the far distance between them.

Eren didn't slow down in his frantic flight until the air of smoke haunting the sky greeted his senses. He was dimly aware of Mikasa catching up just behind him, but couldn't find it in himself to speak to her. The way he had to toss down every anxiety -labored breath might have had something to do with it, but he knew it was more due to the reason behind that anxiety.

_Our house is definitely safe!_

Eyes scanning around, he regretfully saw the sheer misfortune someone had by being struck down by a raining boulder. The woman and boy that Eren predicted to be the person's wife and son, knelt near the dismembered body, crying their eyes out. His anxiety grew tenfold. It stirred up so many mingling sentiments inside him that it almost hurt. Dread and concern stood at the forefront of those sentiments, but the distinctive sensation of his heart clenching that accompanied fervent hope – hope that his mother would emerge relatively unhurt – was also among them.

_Once I turn this corner, our house will be there like always!_

The sight of his house crumbled to pieces had ripped a fiery trail across his heart.

"Mom!" He called out with more urgency.

A numbing horror shot through his veins when he and Mikasa approached the house, Carla beneath the dusted foundation, nothing but pain sketched on her face. "Mom!"

"Eren…Mikasa…" She hummed.

"Mikasa grab that side! We need to move this pillar!"

They both knelt down, gripping onto the large wooden plank containing her. They both lifted, but in an instant, the weight of the pillar had resisted furiously to be removed and already the undefined muscles Eren had seared with a passion.

The slow beat of heavy stomping had made both Eren and Mikasa look up.

A 15 meter titan already crossing the street; just a lane and a quick turn away.

"Hurry Mikasa!" He shouted, past the borderline of panic.

"I know!" She yelled back in mutual to his shout.

Carla had heard the stomping as well. "The Titans are inside, aren't they?" Wheat gold eyes trembled along with the rest of her body except for her legs; she couldn't feel them at all. It was useless after all, the thought of running.

"Eren, take Mikasa and run! Hurry!"

His shocked face hid under his struggling, but his voice had matched the former.

"I want to run away too!" He pushed his muscles harder, splinters stroked his fingers and blood skimmed his palms. "So hurry and get out!"

"My legs have been crushed by the debris" Carla didn't know how much that fact scared her until it too easily rolled off of her tongue. "I can't run even if I get out. Do you understand?"

Eren panted loudly as he fought against the clambering fear in his chest and throat. Tears blurred his eyes to green mush, but his intense face never vanished.

"I'll carry you then!"

"Why can't you just listen to me for once!?" She exploded, tears freeing themselves from her eyes. "Please just listen to me! Just one last time! Mikasa!" She turned her head towards the girl.

More tears coaxed to spill from Carla's eyes.

Mikasa had her head tipped down, black hair spilling over her shoulders. Tears spotted the flat earth as they fell, one by one, from her creased eyes. Sobs were pulled from her chest one after the other. "No…No…" She whispered sniffling.

The steady yet daunting stomping became louder. The titan was getting closer.

"At this rate, all of us will…"

Something landed in front of her. Hannes, crunching the rubble underneath his booted feet.

"Hannes!" Carla harped in surprise. "Please! Take the children and run!"

Hannes blinked in response, an almost hurt look coming over him. He shook his head reprovingly. "Don't take me lightly, Carla. I'll kill that titan and save all three of you."

He sprang forward, blades at the ready, fully prepared to slice into the titan's body. Though Carla's screams of disproof to not fight the titan travelled past his shoulder and orbited around him, he had to compensate this for all the Jaegars had done for him. Ruefully, the memories had buzzed back to life, for only a brief moment from Grisha making him his first patient when the plague started, Carla taking care of him when he had a killer hangover to them helping him out financially.

_She's right. I can save both of them but now is my opportunity to repay my debt!_

He crossed eyes with the titan.

He froze, everything within him just froze.

Eyes big and crease from the bundle might of its unpleasant smile. That was the notorious facet of a Titan, its frightening smile when scavenging for humans, so spine-chilling to the eye.

The Titan did just that. The crescent grin plastered on its reddish face, showing teeth that was oddly perfectly aligned. It towered over him effortlessly of course, but usually when he attended to the walls, he would be the one to dwarf them and they looked like small bugs. Now the titan was merely biding its time, to see what kind of futile shot he was going to give before he could wave it off and devour.

Maybe his imagination – and the anonymous source of heat – was playing tricks on him, but in his terrified daze, he could have sworn he saw himself filling up the hole of a closed titan's hand, heading towards its mouth.

Hannes felt the cold sweat trickle down his neck beneath his brown colored collar. His time was truly limited, more so than when he just acknowledged he was truly afraid.

_I'm sorry Carla_

Sheathing his swords, he spun and ran back to the kids who had still continued on with their endeavor of freeing their mother. Plucking both of them up, Eren over his left shoulder and Mikasa under his right armpit, he hastily ran missing the supple whisper of thank you from Carla.

"Hannes what the hell are you doing!? Mom is still trapped under there!" Eren held out his hand to his mother, eyes dilated.

"Eren! Mikasa!" She reciprocated Eren's hand raise with her free hand. She didn't see Mikasa's expression, but Eren's had made the tears worse than before. "Live on!"

The word live had oh so casually flipped off of her tongue.

And soon, unbidden, a short memory of her and her family—husband, son, adopted daughter—enjoying a good meal that she cooked up, all smiling. It was short because it was destroyed. She knew she wasn't going to be there anymore, for any of them.

She wanted to live and that sudden realization tunneled deep into her heart. "Don't go…" She breathed before she could suck it in.

But she knew that wasn't going to be, especially when she heard and felt the reverberation of a harsh stomp.

Time is a cruel thing; it slows at the countenance of tragedy.

Every step Hannes took marked a fraction of time descending in its track; every bob of brown locks, every flap of clothing. It was all so slow in tandem with the titan's actions.

The titan scoured the remains of the house, throwing the pillar that Eren and Mikasa had strained to move aside easily.

His hands gripped the figure of Carla Jaegar.

"STOP!"

Eren's scream permeated the sky and thoroughly through cloud shape fumes of wounded buildings; loud and hurtful anyone could've heard miles ahead. His mother squirmed, struggled, lashing ineffective punches on the thick hold, but the titan had a disdain towards meals that picked a fight. With its other hand, the titan ensnared his hand around her upper body and gave a squeeze.

The stillness of her body sent lashes of crawls up his arms, like wave upon wave of marching ants. The titan dangled her limp body towards its red mouth, huge and ready.

Mikasa eyes never shrunk back to normal; she swiveled her head forward, covering herself from the inevitable. She wished she could do the same for her ears, but how Hannes was carrying her had made it impossible.

For Eren, everything was muted.

Everything.

The Titan finally chomped down. Sound of fractures, broken blood vessels.

It was snowing blood.

* * *

Melusina wasn't one to be cowed by a simple flu.

So while her husband and daughter was out with their priorities, she shuffled around the house, cleaning, tending to the plants, walking, half-hoping to be occupied with something before they got home.

Yet here she sat in her and her husband's room, used tissues as her company, memorizing the patterns stitched into the quilt beneath her and absently lifting one bare foot to push a toe into the carpeted floor. The sun was already hitting its nadir, but yet her darling Lukas and dear Rinora absence still remained.

_Where are they? They should've been back by now. Did Rinora stay out to long with her friends again?_

A sigh muffled itself against the back of her throat in correlation with that thought. She guessed the few knocks upside her daughter's head hadn't ingrained the lesson.

Her fingers twitched against her thighs when voices from outside seeped past the closed window's barrier and into her earshot.

A tumult of voices actually.

Although she failed to make out any exact words, judging by the echoes of pandemonium and fear that people chattered, she definitely knew that something bad was going on.

Melusina boosted herself from her bed, ignoring the sudden vertigo of her action, and ran to the door while slipping on a pair of shoes. Swinging it open, her gaze fell on a cluster of people a few feet away from her house.

However this cluster was a piece of the chain of crowds that filled other spots in the grassland area.

She surveyed with puzzled eyes, brows furrowed in bemusement before she found herself passing the grasslands that swallowed up the people to where the crowd was heading.

The docks, she clinically ascertained, which wasn't far away from the house.

Melusina's mind pricked and just like intertwining hands, all the observations knitted together from the petrified look scarred on peoples' faces to the fear prevalent in their voices to everyone's brisk evacuation to the boats.

Before her voice could say it, another voice jumped in front.

"The Titans will kill us all!"

Panic sparked inside her heart, sending it skittering into overtime and the tangible sensation of it had her convulsing. Her sickness had aggravated it more and in a second she crumbled to her knees in a heap, her cheeks flushed.

Someone had noticed her predicament. "Miss! Are you okay?" One man came over and sank to her level. The group he was in decided to migrate as well now leaning over her in a tight circle that in honesty suffocated her in spite of their initial goal to help.

The Titans invaded the city; her husband and child are nowhere to be found.

Ragged breaths shook out of her like an asthmatic person; she couldn't fathom why she still was on the ground as if God would descend down and bless her with her family.

Melusina swept out her arms for balance, sinking her palms to the stranger who had so cordially asked of her well-being, but at the moment she didn't care. Interpreting it as a signal that she was ok, the guy had smiled though it faded and a fearful expression settled.

"I'm glad that you're okay, but we should all get on the boats before it gets full"

But the man had seen how Melusina's features coiled into fretful lines. Her ears were filled with nothing and everything at once; sounds muffled and garbled, backed by a low ringing that buzzed around the beat of her heart like a fly.

Suddenly, she sprinted, her long light orange hair sailing brilliantly. In sickness, in a dress, she still sprinted, indigo eyes never leaving the icon of the inner gates. All the cries of concerns had thinned out and joined the swishing sound the wind played. She didn't risk glancing back.

She may have seemed like a mad woman running towards the threat.

But in her scope, she was running towards her family who needed her.

* * *

Shock careened into to sadness, sadness tumbled headlong into latent anger.

It zigzagged up and down his body and warmed his frozen veins. His face had been motionless from his shock, but once his fury had channeled completely and freely, it became blatant.

Eren slammed the end of his elbow roughly into Hannes's head. "Eren? What?"

Through that hit, Eren's rage rippled and submerged into his brain; he felt the bitterness and sorrow that came from his mother's death, so clear that he might have well screamed it.

And he did.

"We could've saved Mom! Why the hell did you that!?" Eren barraged hit after hit on the blonde's head, not letting up in the slightest. In fact, his hits became harder at every count.

"You just think you can do whatever the hell you want!"

"Cut it out!"

Hannes grabbed him and flipped him forward, the boy landing with a harsh thud.

"Eren!" Mikasa called in worry. She fruitlessly wiggled around in Hanne's grasp before he had released her, allowing her to check on her adopted brother. Eren condemned himself for staying on the floor to long, but that flip had now made his hurting physical along with mental.

"Eren" However, as the Garrison soldier stood there, too calm for words, his condemn shifted to him with no hesitation.

Hannes sank to the ground to capture distraught turquoise eyes. His face was shadowed and though he had no bangs, his eyes still manage to grow dusky, even with the glow of the sunset pouring on him.

"You couldn't help your mother because you're weak."

Weak. That one word was like a red flag, a hammer that shattered into the glass panes of the window between them. Eren gritted his teeth and pressed forward, hand curled into a fist that carried his wrath, but in midway, Hannes impeded its journey to his face. He held it tightly that even Eren was a little blown by how profoundly rigid it was. He could recall see Hannes's expression this grave a scant few times but he had gotten so use to his goofy drunken one that he forgot he had other emotions.

"I couldn't face the Titan because I was scared!"

And with seeing his tears, tears tumbled down Eren's cheeks as well. In his Hannes's tears read guilt, remorse, shame because he let Carla die, his friend die when the opportunity was there to save all three of them. Though he consented to her last wish, his conscious brutally stabbed that it was his fault.

His cowardice was the one that murdered her, not the titan.

He knew that anything he said wouldn't change things for the better and it washed through his mind as he regained his normal height and grasped both kids' hands.

"Forgive me," Were the only words he had left.

All Eren could do was shut his eyes and cry more.

Mikasa turned her head, placing a hand on her fore head as if to stave off an oncoming headache.

"This is familiar..." She murmured softly and soon flashes of two figures lying in their own blood crept in her vision. The color from her face drained into some invisible abyss as well, some darkness born of the past and everything it brought.

* * *

Two boats and the first boat already left.

Armin became restless when hordes and hordes of people boarded the second boat but his friends were nowhere in sight.

He watched the process of people mounting the boats, officers demanding people not to bring any luggage, people _still_ smuggling in their luggage amidst the crowd.

Still no sign of Eren, Rin and Mikasa.

He tried to keep the despair from flooding his mind as best he could, but knowing the situation, it proved more difficult than it seemed. Sooner than he would have liked, the despondency slipped into his heart with all the deadly causticity of a poisonous fog, filling the nooks and making him unable to feel much else.

"Armin, sit down." His grandfather calmly scolded.

"But my friends aren't here yet!" Armin fussed.

He looked back out only to smile at the view of an unshorn brown haired boy and a raven haired girl.

"Eren and Mikasa but…" Armin's sapphire eyes hopped around the multitude again. "Where's Rin"

Once again dread permeated him thoroughly.

* * *

When Rin saw her mother feverishly running in the streets, her heart almost soared out of her mouth.

"Mom!" she shrieked, the man who had saved her letting her down gently.

Melusina stopped, heart pounding, daring to look around. Rin was already scurrying to her. Melusina almost dropped to her knees in elated relief, tingling in her palms and when her daughter had finally reached, she cocooned her in a hug.

"Rinora! Thank goodness you're okay! Thank goodness, thank goodness, thank goodness!"

Tears slipped from both mother and daughter alike. Rin felt lost in her embrace. It was so warm and inviting and almost made her denounce the chaotic reality around her.

"Ouch…!" Rin grunted. Her mother dug too much into her right arm, but in the soothing rush of seeing her mother unscathed, she had momentarily forgot that she was the opposite—her arm definitely could testify to that.

Swiftly, her mother pulled back, certainly hearing the painful remark sigh through her parted lips. She scrutinized her, taking in her form before identifying the incontestable hobble that her right arm had. Her face shriveled up in what only could be described as distress.

"My God, your arm! Your arm, Rinora! How did you break it!?"Rin was about to answer before her mother interrupted with another question; a question that knocked any semblance of composure she keenly tried to muster ever since the town's destruction.

"Where's your father?"

She thought about the glass, the blood, his hug, the titan. She had said nothing, but actions spoke louder than words. Rin's tears became heavy and bulgy; the amount conjoined at her chin. It was obvious.

_He's dead isn't he?_

"Oh Lukas…Lukas." Melusina dipped her head down, bangs obscuring her face but Rin knew through the audible weak sobs and shaking form. She had to discontinue because the time did not call for her to mourn for the loss of her husband. Her spine prickled at way she tried pushing her way out of grief's territory, but it had to be done.

She steeled herself and glanced at the stranger. "Thank you for saving my daughter."

But her gratitude had fallen flat, the stranger eyes locked straight ahead. His jaw was ajar even from afar Melusina could tell that sweat dampened his face; his trembling was also visible.

Melusina had followed his eye's trail forward, before her breath caught horribly in her throat. She vaguely heard Rin querying about what she was looking at; the taut squeeze her daughter gave her told her that she saw it too.

A titan, skin iridescent like a shimmering armor two blocks back. Huge.

It was targeting the inner gates.

* * *

**The Infamous Armored Titan has appeared. Man, nothing but pain and sadness in this chapter, but you can't lie, Shingeki no Kyojin is all about that.**

**Reviews makes author happy!**


	3. Days of Sorrow (Part 2)

_**I'm so sorry for taking such a long time to update! You know what college does to you and of course I'm picking my life over you assholes( jk about the asshole part) I hope this appeases you guys!**_

_**Disclaimer: All OCs are mine ( even if they are deceased OCs). Isayama OWNS ALL!**_

* * *

_**Chapter 3: Days of Sorrow (Part 2)**_

"_We should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression_._"_

_**- Confucius**__  
_

* * *

Her legs had given her the go.

Her brain had issued a command.

**Run.**

And the oh so helpful command had zapped Melusina's body to scoop up Rin and jet for the gates. The soldiers didn't have to tell her twice. She flew through the streets, every step fizzling her anxiety, every step agitating her flu, but she couldn't let it hinder her. Just like she did before, she ran without even a glance back, even faster than she had started. The good grace to get her daughter to any safety available had placed a boost in her pace and the sensation had burned a little until it and finally settled.

As soon they went through the gates, the latch that held the front gate to the town had clicked and in its descend, Melusina took a moment to swallow anxiety free air, brushing off fits of concerns from Rin. Rin narrowed her eyes at her mother and her firm obstinacy; her skin was clammy to the touch and hot and though she had been running, her exhales came out more staggered.

"Melusina!"

The young woman whipped her head and Rin peered over her mother's shoulder. "Hannes!?" She cried incredulously. The man who was strangely being wrestled by two of his comrades broke free from their clutches and sped over to them.

"Why aren't you two on the boat yet!? It's going to leave any second!" Hannes informed alarmingly. Before devastation could even touch her cheeks, Hannes secured an arm around her and swiftly guided them to the boat.

He noticed Lukas wasn't with them.

However he made no inquiries about his absence because in this sort of situation, the answer was bound to be unpleasant.

Not only that. Hannes stole a glimpse at Melusina; sweat dotted her face at an unsettling rate and her face bore the color of an apple.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, reducing his speed only slightly.

"I'm fine" She scowled, taking a stray hand and wiping her sweaty fringe from her face. "I just need to rest for a little while"

His gaze lingered, but turned forward for he knew that her quick uptake meant for him not to prod any further.

They approached the docks, the loading dock filled to the brim with frightened people and thankfully, however surprisingly, the boat was still stationed. A relieved puff whistled out of Melusina and unconsciously, she squeezed Rin and held her tighter.

Before they could even start to carve a path through the masses however, a soldier pivoted and cupped a hand next to his mouth.

"We can only take twenty-five more people! Twenty-five!"

Twenty-five out of more than a hundred people.

* * *

The draw bridge started to curl back into the boat.

As expected, many people burst out into frantic shouts of outrage.

Armin almost fell over the rim from the force of his own thrust. His eyes have been trained on that draw bridge ever since Eren and Mikasa mounted the boat, but the lack of telltale ginger hair had unnerved him.

_She's not on the boat. Why isn't she on the boat yet!?_

But that's when he saw them; Rin, her mother and Hannes rushing from a green hill afar to join the crowd.

A noise of surprise escaped Armin at the sight and before noticing his action, he unconsciously maneuvered through the jam packed crowd, eyes never straying from the trio. He had even swatted away the chiding shouts of his grandfather.

There was still a chance to get Rin and her mother on this boat.

It seemed his legs took that opportunity, since it automatically led him to his destination, resulting into him bumping against something relatively hard. Armin regained his footing, just shortly missing a rather humiliating fate of falling onto his back.

Making sure he got his bearings, gear clad hips met his eyes before he instantly looked up and saw a Garrison soldier, though the soldier threw an annoyed scowl at him.

"Watch where you're going kid! I already have enough on my plate; I don't have time to deal with you!" And with that, the man continued his gesture to the other soldiers to complete their pulling of the bridge.

"But my…!" He couldn't make his mouth form the words. Only now did it hit him how insignificant his reasoning was—and himself for that matter. Perhaps it was insight or intuition, but by the sure telling of people pleading to get on the boat and the stern refusals that the soldiers dished out, he was damn sure that all of them wouldn't pause in their function just because a little kid's friend wasn't on board.

Armin searched for a reason he could put into words, but in his own security that deplored him that a single kid like him wouldn't change anything, regardless of how good the reason was. His subconscious had been telling him that as soon as his head caressed the waistline of the soldier.

But he had to try for Rin was so close.

He thought of all the things he could say, any explanation he could call upon to persuade the soldier—for a horrific moment, Armin thought the solider had commanded the boat to go.

Armin then remembered people smuggling in their belongings despite told otherwise. When the other Garrison soldiers clearly presented the formula; less baggage equals more people on the boat.

"I saw it…" Armin muttered uneasily.

"You're still here kid!? What now!?" the man glowered and Armin almost wanted to recoil into a tight ball.

"I saw a ton of people bringing baggage with them on the boat!" The man's anger abated to his apprehension and he stared at the boy's panicked face. "You said it yourself! Fewer luggages mean more people can get on board!"

The soldier's face wavered, alternating between frustration and dismay before finally deciding that both emotions were suitable.

Twisting decisively to face the civilian body on the boat, he stomped his foot, alerting people from their frightened trance.

"Hey! If anyone has luggage, throw it off the boat right now!"

Silence. A few hushed murmurs above the harsh screaming below, but that was it. The soldier gritted his teeth.

"What the hell's wrong with you people!? Is your stuff more important than other peoples' lives!?"

In that obligation, several people shared nervous glances—definitely the people who had luggage—before one evenhanded person had walked and hurled their small luggage over.

Sooner than later, a traffic line of people wove through the space and dropped their belongings over the edge.

A sigh of relief wanted to float out of his mouth, but Armin knew the problem wasn't solved. He had to know how many people they could fit before his body could even dare to sink into peace.

After calculating, the soldier muttered mostly to himself and then turned around to the mob below. For his voice to echo, he cupped his hand next to his mouth.

"We can only take twenty-five more people! Twenty-five!"

* * *

It became a frenzy.

"Please, get in a single line!"

Everyone writhed about in the secure barrier consisted of Garrison soldiers. Screaming, pushing and shoving alike that even the chain of soldiers were overwhelmed by their riotous nature. People started to crawl underneath the loose blockade, even leaping onto the boat to evade their grasps.

"That's four people already!" One of the soldiers grated out, frustration rising as he saw them successfully climb onto the boat.

"Dammit!" Melusina rasped.

She started to ram through the throng, her elbow jutting out. Rin had slightly paled when the soldier announced that, but she assured herself that she and her mother will get on the boat safely. However, it was bleak and wallowing in such doubt that she had immediately eradicated the thought of asking Melusina if they'll get to the front in time.

Optimism was at the short end of the stick and it revives too many impossible hopes—an instant flicker of Lukas's darkened face, red dripping from his mouth—.

Hope is something precious, especially in this sort of situation.

So instead of optimism, hope took its place, filling the aching cavity in her heart and subduing the doubt, if only just a little.

"Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen…"

They were already near twenty and Melusina was in the middle but also close to the front. Her shoves strengthened and she had even used peoples' shoulders to propel herself forward. Her steps became needy and her face broadened in horror.

She couldn't accept the possibility of the boat leaving them, no…of the boat leaving _Rin._ Her steps became hops, hops morphed into soars.

"Twenty-three, Twenty-four…"

"Twenty-five!"

The feeling of being suspended in the air brought about a trauma induced haze for in that moment Rin could only let a pair of steady brown eyes look her up and down.

"Alright! This girl is the last passenger! The boat is full!"

Her mind ushered in a rush of agony, too much for her to bear. She saw her hope shatter into smithereens on the merciless ground and she had to reassure again, like she had done so many other times in this hellish atmosphere if this was real. The feeling when her body was put in an anonymous hold had her devastation grow into mounds that the strain of it had pushed her nerves to be useless and inert, like a corpse.

Yet the arrival of tears that simmered her cheeks had reawakened her from the depths of her numbness, just briefly to handle that they were ripping her away from her mother's arms, the warmness gone and left with an unknown cold, neurotic sensation that draped her from head to toe.

"Mom! Please! I wanna stay with you!" Her fingers were still intertwined with her mother's long dainty ones, but each pull from the soldier had made her clench feeble and she gasped aghast that her fingers were relinquishing their grasp one by one.

"Let go of me!"

Tears were sliding down her cheeks, creating shameful trails of heat in their path, but Melusina still managed to have a smile spill her face, even in the prevalence of flustered tears of seeing her daughter so …sad. The puffy red eyes, the way her mouth had half-opened to draw in more air, and above all, the tears that still made their steady way down her face and left tracks in their wake. The sight of the latter distressed her, and Melusina found herself reaching up and precluding the tears in their tracks with her thumb.

"Go on the boat Rinora! It's for you to be safe!" Melusina persuaded, rubbing her daughter's rosy cheek.

"No! Not without you Mom!" She refused "There's still room on the boat! Put my mom on!"

"We can't! There's no more room! It's either the little girl gets on or she's off! You're delaying us!"

"No! You're putting her on that boat!" Melusina sent a glare to the officer who withdrew slightly.

"NO! Not with—"

"This is not the time to be stubborn!" Her stern voice cut Rin off abruptly and she stared at her mother in undisguised shock. She leveled her voice to what could be audible in the strident background of mayhem.

"Go on the boat Rinora. I'll be ok." She gently pushed a light orange lock out of her daughter's face. A pretty color and not only because she shared the same.

"I love you."

Rin clutched Melusina's hand to her face tightly.

Their grasping hands were torn apart by the soldier.

"MOM!"

With sudden flexibility, Rin squirmed, twisted, did all of the above, yet just like the stranger who had taken her away from the embrace of her father, the soldier had constrained her like he would do to an agitated pigeon( spotting her broken arm). However with all the struggling and flapping that she persisted on doing, it did look as if she was a bird, wholeheartedly trying to free herself from her captor.

In his haste, the soldier nearly clocked Rin's skull—chastely by accident but she would've been peeved if that did happen—with his elbow in trying to find space for her. He deposited her between two anonymous adults and fled down the ramp.

"Pull up the bridge!"

The soldiers did as commanded.

"Go!"

And with a mechanic howl of the gears budging into motion, the boat set sailed.

Rin's legs, her entire body seceded from her mind, but both had remained absolutely still. In her hazy state, she almost saw herself suspended in the air above a great black pit in the depths of which something as black as the darkness shuffling restlessly.

_Why?_ The word rang large in her mind. Her mind and her body were suddenly one again when a rumbling preceding an explosion had shook the air and everyone's jaw. She raced to the edge of the boat because explosions were surely not good signs.

Her breath hitched, pupils waving rapidly in the white background of her eye.

The titan, _that _titan that her and her mother saw when they were escaping; its hardened skin baked a golden-brown, huge scary muscles, posing as if it just ran a marathon. The inner gate was ruined, smoking dancing about like snakes, licking the clean cut hole that it made.

One, two, three, ten; fresh batches of titan coming in so nonchalantly. She couldn't scream her mother's name again; her voice was begging to stay in her mouth.

Rin collapsed into tears.

* * *

It has been an hour since the fall of Wall Maria.

Rin's quiet calmness balanced on the tip of a needle; anytime that needle could overbalance and make her frenzied again.

However, her mind trailed deep behind her physical actions. Inside her body, something shifted, but detecting it was way beyond her care. All she knew was that it made the sensitive planes of her body—the pads of her fingers, the bottom of her feet, and for some strange reason her eyelids—tingle like blood was rushing into them after they'd gone to sleep.

For once through all this, her muscles felt and loose and strangely free; she directed her impassive look from blank space to her left arm. A pattern of clenching and unclenching ensued until something akin to common sense intruded on her consciousness until the entanglement of feelings was no more.

_What feelings?_

She had realized the soft shifting inside of her was only the whispering sound of being hollow.

It was one feeling that she hadn't known until now that it was capable of destroying her. Listlessly, she allowed the vindictive feeling to vent out inside and it was because of the numbing feeling pursuing it like a lost puppy.

She didn't want to feel anything though. Definitely sadness but neither happiness; she shut out unwanted emotions (which were basically all emotions) like how she would shut out unwanted voices—she had polished that into a skill after all the bullying back at her old home—It was better to retreat into her shell, like a turtle would when threatened because it stripped her from all her senses.

And right now that was for the best.

So Rin tucked herself into a ball or at least the best she could do with her right arm out of commission and all. Now it was the right arm's turn to be scrutinized. She gazed at the two wooden planks, smacked down by tiny stretches of rope. Armin's grandfather had done the job for it was the best he could do for right now. She would just have to wait till they arrived at the next wall for more promising materials. Not only physical injuries, but now nausea was cavorting about in her system like a pest.

A grumble; that was the first noise she made after her little episode.

"_Hold my hand Rinora, unless you want to be taken away by some pervert. I wouldn't know what to say to your mother if that happened."_

So unbidden, so unwelcomed.

"_Awww! That hairstyle looks so cute!...Huh!? What do you mean it's weird!? Well you should've seen this coming. After all you asked _me_ to do your hair."_

They were coming back, the emotions swollen beneath her skin. She shoved it down and all because she did not want to erupt into a series of strangled sobs and dry coughs again..

"_Here's your share of the logs. Be careful now, don't get a splinter. Ow dammit! A splinter!"_

"_Hey Babycakes! Want to go food shopping with your father and me!? I'll show you the moves I use on other women when they stare at your father with lecherous eyes!"_

She was only use to her voice, not her parents' voices let alone memories of them floating across her mind.

Because usually they were always by her side, she didn't need such reminiscences.

Rin closed her eyes, probably for self defense from memories that continued their assault. Predictably it didn't work.

_Now they're gone. I'm the reason they're gone._

Rin knew she shouldn't stamp her mother as deceased yet, but with that explosion and the fresh mob of Titans nonchalantly walking through those gates, she…they were coming back _again._

"I'm the reason…" Rin decided, fingers tight against her forehead.

And it went even further than just the invasion. If she wasn't so idiotic, hotheaded, so sensitive—she was just a small kid—she and her parents would still be living in Wall Sina, the most sheltered wall of them all.

_What about Armin, Mikasa…Eren?_

She almost scowled at her subconscious for switching sides so suddenly. Almost.

She hasn't spoken to them ever since she came on the boat. What was there to say? By looking at Eren and Mikasa's faces, she could tell they had an angsty grim tale on their shoulders and Armin, he had his grandfather to keep him company. Everyone on this boat just needed the silence deserved.

So why think about them when she has to confront the fact that she indirectly killed her parents.

_I'm the reason my parents are dead._

* * *

There were a lot of people who cried themselves to sleep. Rin wasn't one of them.

Her body decided to get a sudden case of insomnia and even elucidated that not resting would make the voices inside her skull disappear. But it seems that not sleeping had made the voices intensify. She pressed a moist hand to forehead—sweaty to the bone because they were packed like sardines—.

Everything just ached, especially since her skull felt thick and crowded and taking up too much space that her head felt bloated like a balloon.

"_Don't go to bed late. All girls need their beauty sleep or they'll turn into PMSing monsters."_

Though her head felt fuzzy, her mind went into a sequence of throbbing and not letting up in its torture. So Rin stood up and bounded for the edge of the boat, weaving through the congested mass (she spotted one person sleeping with their eyes open. She knew because she accidentally rapped into him, but not even a stir in his place)

When she got there, she set her left arm on the wooden rim and she peered down. The boat cut through the river easily, sending out ripples that regurgitated foamy waves in its trace. She saw her reflection like a mirror, a trembling mirror because of the water. She thought she would have been leery of heights since that time she fell out of a tree with zero grace the second week after she and her parents had moved to Shiganshina.

Rin closed her eyes.

Lukas. Melusina. Everything just came back to her parents.

The water even clarified that, the way it wrinkled magically and two figures who God even knew they weren't suppose to be there emerged. However, there they were, in the reflection, standing next to each other and smiling at their daughter all carefree.

"It can't be…" She panted, and she hated that she had to remind herself.

But Melusina offered her an eyes closed smile and arms open that streamed with love and warmth. Lukas grinned so homely and he brought out a hand with comforting love.

A glimmer of the old emotions that their presence unearthed from some buried part of her sent a final blade into her exhausted eyes.

"Mom…Dad…!"

All the emotions caged inside, unhealthy, had made it even blacker inside her head. Her mother's hair had caught the moonlight and now ginger hair shimmered like a diamond. Rin clumsily outstretched her hand and she knew the feet distance between them, but they were so close in her vantage.

Half her body was tipping over, but she was getting closer; that's all she cared about. Her torso was losing grip on the boat's rim. If she fell, her mother would catch her. She would be able to hug her father again.

"What the hell are you doing!?"

Pain lanced through her head at the bellow, but nonetheless she noted the familiarity of the infuriated voice. Soon enough, Rin felt herself being pulled and tossed back into the safety of the boat. Rin gaped, just for a short period before whipping her head to stare at her savior and destroyer stoically.

Perhaps turquoise wasn't an intimidating color, but Eren still glared incredulously at her.

"What the hell were you thinking!? You could've fallen and drown!"

Rin gave no answer. She eased herself upwards and kept her stare locked on him. She was just quiet and Eren did not know whether to be furious or confused because Rin had been shrill, not this silent, depressed person in front of him.

Yet, everyone wanted silence on this boat because it was appropriate and it morbidly relished the fact that they are survivors of a Titan invasion. Their statuses are now of refugees instead of citizens.

But her silence dove deeper now than stoicism. It edged past depression and exhibited brokenness in the darken areas of lavender in her eyes. Before he could speak – to say what, he wondered suddenly, fiercely; give some paltry reassurance about how everything would be okay? Even he himself wasn't okay—she finally spoke; his lips curled in tight.

"Eren" She finally acknowledged, albeit uncaringly. "Why did you stop me?"

And she just stared, face curiously blank. Eren's face went tight and pale and livid.

"Of course I'll stop you! Don't ask stupid questions!" He exclaimed. For an instant, his mother and the Titan had lined amongst his sight. His eyes swept over the floor, and suddenly he found himself grinding his teeth together and repressing thoughts.

_I just can't let someone else die in front of me_

Eren noticed her right arm, boarded up with wood and strings and his frown ever so deepened.

"What happened to your arm?"

The silence was so cold, he was mentally pleading for her to speak. _Answer me dammit! _So long did it take Rin to respond that he almost thought he would have to reach forward and shake her. Finally, she spoke.

"It broke"

The visible tensing of her shoulders right after saying that told him she was probably mentally berating herself for sounding so inarticulate; the thought almost amused him, knowing she still hadn't changed in that regard. Eren pried open his mouth to speak, but Rin jumped in.

"They were right there, arms open for me…" Rin reached forward, hands holding the muted sky. If she really focused, squeeze her eyes and everything, she could still smell her father's cinnamon scent, cozy, rich and warm; her mother's scent, sharp, clean and the aroma of sweet oranges.

"_We love you. Forever and always."_

"They wanted me to come. I wanted to go…" Her tone became less and less tentative. "They were there, my parents, perfectly fine and you…!"

Her sentence had fizzled out in the mighty smack against her head, jarring her mild headache and forced a small sound from between her teeth. The anger had started to hum underneath her skin, but vanished the next moment Eren had grasped the hills of her shoulders.

"What kind of parents would want their child to kill themselves!?"

Rin blinked wide. She shouldn't be responding, should be cold and blank and stone-faced like she was the majority of the boat ride, but the piercing chastising glower had made it waver uncontrollably.

"I don't know…" His eyes became half-lidded. "I don't know what happened to your parents', but I know one thing! You're here because of them!"

Now her emotions were resurfacing, passing through one after the other.

"If you end it right here, you'll be putting what they've done for you in vain!"

She had dismally thought about all her memories with them, bouncing back and forth like a ping pong ball. Both of their ends had came with renditions of love, love and wanting for her to survive; the way her father had probed her to go to her mother until his very last breath, the way her mother jostled through the petrified crowd.

For her safety.

Rin curled up, not crying, but seeking the comfort of being able to hold something warm and solid. She felt as though she was standing at the bottom of a deep pit, and looking up, she realized just how deep that hole actually was. She was never going to be able to climb back out, into the light that were her parents.

"I…" Her voice had lifted to an airy squeaky voice. And there they were her sealed away tears.

"_I__…I love you…so very much."_

"_I love you."_

A dry ache of her mouth; her heart was breaking and it was the most embarrassing moment in her recent memory, almost going suicidal because of her mere hallucinations. She definitely seemed like a crazy person. A multitude of emotions crossed Rin's face . Fury, desperation, fervent hope, sadness that she could never go back: all warred and clashed and tripped over themselves in the set of her jaw before finally acceptance stepped out of the wreckage.

Her cheeks would've turned hot pink at her next action, but the situation was calling for comfort. She needed all that she could get.

"I just want to go home!"

Rin threw herself at Eren, sticking her face to his chest and wailed on and on.

Though he thought he had used every last remaining tears on his mother, the warmness of his own tears had rendered him speechless.

Sooner or later they would have to move on, but for right now they were kids mourning for the loss of their parents and their home.

* * *

"_Mommy? Why did you and daddy name me Rinora?"_

_Melusina turned her attention from gardening to her daughter twirling a dandelion between her fingers, admiring its hue thoughtfully. Melusina blinked owlishly for the question to cut through her mind. She then whisked on a very unpleasant smile._

"_What? Do you not like your name?" she asked too sweetly and her smile sharp. "It was either that or Codrea"_

"_Codrea!?" Rin said scandalized. "What!?"_

_Melusina nodded sagely. "Your father wanted a mix up of his father's name, Conall, and his mother's name, Andrea. Conall plus Andrea equals Codrea"_

_Rin flopped dramatically in her spot, in order to emphasize her pain. "Why?" She asked piteously._

"_I don't know. Your father and I kind of suck at choosing names" _

_She could pledge to that. Her mother's nickname for her was Babycakes. Before she could mentally ramble on how the name Babycakes should be exterminated from this world, her mother let out a drawn out sigh._

"_Good thing I named you after my grandmother"_

_Rin looked at her mother but was surprised at the forlornness that rimmed her eyes._

"_I never got a chance to meet her. She disappeared as soon as my mother was born"_

.

Consciousness came to Rin in a haze.

Her desire to keep alert won over any lingering exhaustion and she sat up, her right arm slightly in pain.

_Why am I dreaming of that so suddenly?_

Or perhaps it wasn't suddenly. She had just accepted the fact that her parents were gone for good. Yet, her mind has been skipping down memory lane ever since.

Acceptance was clearly there, but of course there were indicatives that she missed them. Who wouldn't miss their own parents?

All at once, the events from yesterday aside from her parents washed over her, bringing a myriad of mixed emotions that assailed her. The big red ugly titan, the massacre, that big armored titan busting through the inner gates…

Above all, though, one particular memory buoyed itself to the top of her thoughts, as much due to the happiness it brought her—even if they both had been in a dejected state— then and now as the fact that it was the most vivid. With the peculiar sensation of her heart lightening within her chest Rin found herself remembering Eren's fingers against her shoulders. Though it was platonic and his mindset was just to comfort a friend, the way just feeling him so close had all but shattered every ounce of self-control she had left. A smile made its tenacious way onto her face.

But yet that moment derived from negative things. Rin groaned and fell back onto…

The **hard** cold floor.

"Ow! What the…!"

_Wow, you're even clumsier than me and God knows I'm clumsy!_

"Not true…" She muttered limply. Great. The memories have now turned to comments and Rin started to wonder if she really was crazy. Hearing the voices of one's deceased parents wasn't a good sign.

But for some reason, she didn't want to wish it away.

Shoving her father's voice somewhere else, she surveyed her surroundings just a bit because her morning tiredness still pecked at her. A warehouse that was severely empty. The only things that filled it up were a few barrels and boxes and sunshine shaping its way through the windows.

Now she remembered.

They came at the dead of night. The refugees filed through the streets of Trost. Instead of making the order mandatory, citizens of Trost had the power to choose whether or not they wanted to quarter in refugees.

Most of them chose not to, which Rin and all the others were outraged about, but they couldn't push their luck. All of them were already seen as freeloaders the minute they stepped into the city.

_I would've clawed their eyes out, those selfish bastards!_

She put her hand on her head as if to beckon her mother's voice to shut up.

A lot of people either slept in markets, boxes, or even on the streets. Armin's grandfather took her, Eren and Mikasa under his wing and they were fortunate to find someone affable enough to take all five of them in.

Her eyes scanned the area a little bit more for her aforementioned friends until she looked down and spotted Eren laying right next to her—Rin backed away in a idiotic bluster—and Mikasa laying to the right of him.

Even in her bluster, she had noticed something glistening around Eren's neck and before she could even deliver a thought of investigating it, the colossal door swung open.

"Rin, you're awake!"

Armin stood at the doorway, one hand clutching the door. "They're giving out rations! My grandpa is already holding a spot for us on line!"

Belatedly, Rin realized that Armin was probably the first one awake along with his grandfather and wondered how long he has been waiting for them to wake up.

Combing her fingers through her dry hair, she replied "Okay let's go."

Rin stepped outside and the sun shot her face. She squeezed her eyes against it until her eyes adjusted. She gasped.

The populace of refugees—she wasn't even sure if this was the whole bunch—swarmed around the area like bees and the amount of dreariness buzzing in and out was enough for someone to keel over.

A several lines of stands to feed thousands of people plus the citizens of Trost had to be fed as well.

_Let the farce begin_

Lukas couldn't have said in any better.

"This use to be the food reserves" Armin informed, noticing her eyes stuck on the crowd. "Now this is where we all gather"

Lilac eyes flickered from his face to the crowd and its brisk business of providing everyone with food.

"Rin, you noticed too right?" She switched her attention back to Armin. "That there's not enough food for everyone."

After a few moments, he placed the look on her face. Desperate knowing—that something bad was going to happen—, the kind that, he was sure, that all four them must have had when people believed that the walls would never be breached for an eternity and beyond. Armin had all but anticipated that much.

"There's going to be a food shortage, isn't there?"

Armin swallowed because he just had to get rid of that dryness in his throat. "It possibly already started."

Rin closed her eyes before reopening them. "Then we should hurry and find your grandfather so we can get food. " _Because there's no way I'm letting any of you guys starve._

They had finally spotted Armin's grandfather a few lines away. He was luckily the 10th person on line out of hundred people. Before they could even step into his direction, however, two boys, looking a year or two older, had impeded their path. The brunette boy was sort of pudgy and looked like he had slept in the gutters while his companion, the black haired boy, looked average but had a worst case of acne dusting his cheeks.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" The brunette boy questioned threateningly.

"Please, we do not want any trouble. We're just here to get food like everyone else" Armin appeased, gestures corresponding to his words.

"By cutting the line!" The black haired boy retorted rudely.

And that had garnered up a crowd, an angry one.

"Who's trying to skip the line!?"

"Those two stupid ass kids!"

"Who the hell do they think they are!?"

Rin's gaze blazed. "We weren't trying to skip the line!" The brunette boy pointed an accusatory finger their way.

"Liars! We saw you!"

"We're not lying! My grandfather is holding our spots!"

Chubby fingers grabbed the collar of Armin's shirt, preparing a fist in its wait. Armin pinched his eyes shut, already knowing what the pudgy boy was going to do.

"Stop lying dammit!"

"Yeah, teach those damn kids a lesson!"

Fury red-washed Rin's vision and something that tasted weirdly like panic coated the back of her throat. On instinct, comparable to when Armin would get harassed back on Shiganshina, she didn't hold back.

Rin punched his face in.

He went down hard, hard enough to send stars wheeling above his eyes. Armin's butt landed on the ground with a thud, but then looked at the kid sprawled on the ground. The kid then yelped and rolled to the side, flailing indignantly as he scrabbled at his face, particularly his nose.

"My nose! You broke it! You broke my nose!"

"And I'll break something else if you don't get out of here in three, two—!"

And with their tails between their legs, the boys ran away; they had to go the end of the line because of their stupidity.

The crowd broke and resumed what they were doing.

Rin heaved before letting out a wince. The force of her punch all but rocked her broken arm, even with the wooden planks intact. She really wanted to go to the clinic.

She turned to Armin, who still remained on the ground. "Are you okay, Armin?"

Her hand reached out, like it always did before; like Eren, Mikasa and Rin always did, to help him stand. For a moment, something like disappointment crossed his face. He stared at her hands, then at her face which had a relieved smile, and scrunched his brow up tight. Then, the disappointment cleared as quickly as it had come, and some of the worry faded from Armin's eyes, to be replaced with a kind of mortified stillness.

Armin spread his fingers a little and didn't look at her. "I'm good. I can stand on my own"

Rin was confused by his monotonous voice, but dismissed it. Her spine snapped up straight and she tossed her head. Armin climbed unsteadily to his feet.

"How about your arm? You did punch that boy pretty hard; I wouldn't be surprised if you strained it."

"Don't worry Armin. It hurts a little but it's not going to kill me. I'll be fine." With that said, she hooked her left arm around Armin's, who was startled, and headed off. "Let's go."

* * *

Rin and Armin saw Eren and Mikasa coming out of the warehouse when they got back with the food. They, like she did, stared at the crowd, which had expanded, in dismal shock.

"Eren! Mikasa!" Armin called happily.

"Rin? Armin?" Eren murmured.

"We made it! Grandpa got food for us kids!" Armin had carried the entire load, though Rin offered—well more like demanded—to at least take one, but Armin saw no sense in doing that. He handed a loaf of bread to Mikasa while Rin handed one to Eren and then took one for herself.

"Thank you" Mikasa replied.

Eren glanced at the bread before lifting his head, only to come face to face with a man who was clad in the same kind of outfit as Hannes, impassive dark eyes not landing solely on him, but Mikasa, Rin and Armin as well. The patronizing look he received from the slightly-taller man rankled him, but he tamped it down.

"What's his problem?" Eren glowered.

His query caused everyone to see the man snobbishly drilling holes into their heads. Rin saw and returned it with much gusto, for no more than an instant, before he parted with a kiss of his teeth and a dramatic hair flip.

_Somebody has a few sticks too far up in where the sun doesn't shine._

_That hair flip…I called it. He's gay._

Rin closed her eyes and took a breath, because laughing in this situation would be so, so inappropriate.

"That's how it goes" Armin sighed. "There's not enough food for everyone" Tipping his head to the bread, he continued. "This is a whole day's worth. There are just too many refugees"

"And you know how people always look down on the less fortunate" Rin added, not looking at her friends in favor for glaring at the hair flipping queer.

He brought a friend, who was probably double the amount of gay he was.

They watched four male refugees brawl over food with such condescension that Rin could feel their running displeasure stroll over and whisper great amounts of hatred.

"Why do we have to give food to these gross outsiders?"

The four kids gasped.

"I mean, the Titans broke through wall, right? They should've eaten more of them."

Rin was sure that all four of them were glaring at the guy, but Eren took a step, no, a couple of steps, no, it was now a pissed off stride to the homo. The guy continued to chat about deaths and Titans like he was talking about the weather, unaware of an angered 10 year old boy stalking his way.

Till homo felt a quick jolt of pain travelling from his shin.

"What the—!" His contemptuous glare flared at the sight of Eren. "What the hell's wrong with you, brat!?"

Homo swung a frilly (can't even call it a punch) hit to Eren's face. His accomplice decided to end the deed in beating up a kid, lunging out a kick that sent Eren falling to the ground. Though homo's hit had seemed frail, it still dealt a well blow on Eren, who now had a bruised beating cheek. Yet he pivoted his body to throw another peeved glare.

"You don't know anything! You never seen it with your own eyes!" he spat, though the prevalence of angry tears in his eyes negated any intimidation.

"How the Titans eat people!"

Rin recalled yesterday night, the night Eren comforted her, when after she finished coping with reality told her why Mr. or Mrs. Jaegar weren't with them on the boat and she had silently mourned Mrs. Jaegar's death.

There was no doubt now his eyes were filling up with that grizzly moment he witnessed seeing his mother's death.

But now Eren's statement had echoed into deep parts of the crowd and it gathered them because they all heard the one term that would always make them shrink in fear.

Homo's face coiled in rage on how he was now the center of everyone's attention and possibly resentment. "Why you—!"

If it wasn't for Armin's fast interceding, Rin would've tag teamed herself in there.

_With only one arm?_

_That's my girl! Fight for your man!_

Now she wanted to jump in a ditch.

"We're sorry!" Armin placated hastily. "He's just ticked off because he's hungry! That's why he's acting like a brat!"

From Eren's direction, a noise like a dying cow came out.

"We're really sorry!" Homo appraised the blonde boy, his sneering slapping back into place before he flourished his hair flipping and rolled his eyes so hard, Rin swore she saw all white.

"Whatever. You'll be dead without us." He swiveled, wedging in _another_ hair flip, and walked away. "You damn kids should learn to be more grateful"

"Ok!" He smiled before it instantly slipped away at Eren's irritant 's breath. He pushed it harshly against his mouth until it easily blew through the cracks of his even teeth. His sour countenance had tripled from its first show when he walked to the homo soldier. Rin unintentionally bit her lip.

"I'd rather die than leech off of people like him…"

They walked back to the warehouse.

* * *

Rin had _never_ seen an argument between Eren and Armin get this heated.

There were several disagreements and scant arguments in the past, but now both were steamed and a string of expletives sprung shamelessly from his mouth—Eren always had a sailor's mouth. They bantered back and forth, both faces going slightly red; Rin and Mikasa could only watch mutely.

"I'm going to kill every last Titan! I don't need this crap!"

He threw the bread, not deliberately aiming for Armin, but nevertheless the bread splashed about in his palms before he finally trapped it. "Eren, What're you doing!?"

"Doesn't it piss you off!? We can't defeat the Titans if we live off of such pity!" Eren bridled.

"We have no choice! Nothing can defeat them!" Armin countered.

Unknowingly, a horrible sense of reality covered itself on top of Rin and she gulped; whether out of fear or frustration, she had no clue.

"Our only choice is to live inside these walls!"

"That doesn't mean we have suck up to those people! Do you have no shame!?"

The more they argued, the more her anger purred beneath her skin, fiddling with the razor wire. She thought her rage manifested from absolutely nothing, but it tempered when Eren gritted out his bitterness towards people like homo.

He'd rather die.

The navy fabric of her dress around her bunched up into her left fist as she remembered last night. Warm hands, him assuaging her that her parents sacrificed themselves for her to be here, that dying so worthlessly would put their deaths in vain. But here he was now, willing to…

She could feel it; her nostrils flaring like an enraged bull, the anger clawing past layers of emotions and her fingers twitching eagerly to form a fist.

"That's all we can do!" Armin rebuked

"That's no excuse! Just keep living like livestock you weak piece of shit!" Eren pointed derisively at Armin. He gasped, almost brought to tears.

Mikasa took a step, ready to dash forward and control Eren, but a stripe of blue flung itself into him and slammed a punch on him. Eren went tumbling back, yelping and all and finally came to a stop to his rolling. Mikasa blinked unceremoniously, now seeing that the blue stripe was a livid Rin, her own chest heaving even though she hadn't been shouting. Mikasa and Armin had _never _seen her so profoundly furious.

"You damn hypocrite!" She hissed, pulling down her left arm. She let her rage filled violet eyes glare into his and Eren couldn't help but compare and note the change to the blank slate of eyes that he saw last night; hollowness spiraling in her eyes..

"What was yesterday, huh!? Tell me! You said that my parents gave their lives for me to stay alive! You said that dying meaninglessly would put their lives in vain! Was that all just bullcrap!?"

In spite of her own ire proving to drastically outmatch his, the brunette frowned.

"Wouldn't you be doing the same to your mother, putting her life in vain because you want to be a whiney brat!? And you're calling Armin a weakling!? Are you kidding me!?" she added in a ragged snarl.

"All of us are weak!" She gulped in a couple of desperate breaths.

The sun chose that exact moment to rain over and it glanced over the intense brightness of Rin's eyes.

"We couldn't get out of this city by ourselves! We couldn't find shelter by ourselves! We couldn't even get food by ourselves! How the **hell** are you expecting to even take down one Titan!?"

This liquid had one too many times tread her cheeks, but she wasn't ashamed of her tears. Mikasa and Armin could only stare, slack-jawed, as she shook and ranted in a fiery path, even more with her tears obstructing her intimidation. Her voice shook to the point of near incoherence, but both were only dimly aware of this.

If the embers in the wake of Eren's anger had smoldered conspicuously, they paled in comparison to Rin's. He could almost see the fraying rope of everything, mostly frustration, that she kept bottled up dissolving under the heat and strength of the fires evoked by her feelings – and, at the same time, of the feelings her words were producing in him. It made his heart pound, made his mind clear and his mouth open slightly.

Rin fixed her scowl back on him, and even though she made no move to cover or wipe away the tears flowing freely down her face, her next words came out so torn by tears that he barely understood them.

"All we can do right now is stay alive and dammit you're gonna stay alive! All of you! I'm not gonna let any one of you die on me!"

She snatched the bread from Armin's hands, stepped up to Eren and plugged his half gaping mouth with the loaf. Her eyes directed to the floor, stringy curtain of light orange riddling her face, effectively concealing her.

"Eat! Eat and live!"

Hesitation filled him for the briefest of moments as he wondered whether or not to loosen his jaw to the soft doughy good, but then hot tears started to itch at the back of his eyes; his well still hadn't dried up yet, perhaps it never will. He bit down and chewed with massive care.

Oddly, it tasted sweet.

* * *

**Nothing but tears in this one. Probably this is why its called Days of Sorrow...yeah...Well look out for Part 3 for Days of Sorrow and after that is when those little shits grow up and around that time, I'm going to start on Pathway to Ascension (hopefully)**

**One last thing, I would so appreciate if someone, anyone could draw me a picture of what they imagine Rin looks like if they picked up descriptions from the story. I would also like if someone could do Lukas and Melusina as well. I'm really busy theses days, but I'll see if I can post my own drawing of Rin that I did a while ago, but I'm a dumbass when it comes to linking, but I'll still try.**

**Reviews would be lovely.**


	4. Days of Sorrow (Part 3)

**Again, I was able to squeeze another quick chapter out, an almost intro chapter for the side series of Pathway to Ascension, which will narrate the training days. I know, I'm such a snail with these chapters, but frankly you get what you get and you don't get upset. Such rudimentary knowledge.**

**Disclaimer: In an alternate universe, It is actually I who owns Attack on Titan. Jk. Please Isayama-sama, don't kick my ass.**

* * *

_**Chapter 4: Days of Sorrow (Part 3)**_

"_Every life has a measure of__sorrow__, and sometimes this is what awakens us."_

- _**Steven Tyler**_

* * *

"It'll take about six to eight weeks."

"Six to eight weeks!?"

The astonished look never left Rin's face until Armin's grandfather gently patted her shoulder, jerking her out of her horrified stupor. She theatrically sighed.

Mr. Arlert had finally taken her to get examined and check on the well being of her arm. The arm had started a chronic aching that she just couldn't bear anymore and also she had a gigantic urging to rip off the dingy wooden equipment that provided little aid—it was giving her splinters _dammit! _ Eren, Mikasa and Armin insisted to accompany them, but Mr. Arlert strictly ordered for them to remain in the warehouse, to rest up. She had almost openly questioned him about that, but immediately he wanted to go and return so they scurried.

Rin frowned at the doctor, and then turned her eyes to Armin's grandfather, to find some traces of solace in his creases. Thank goodness there was a rueful smile twitching at his cheeks; she would've lost it. Rin did not delude herself into believing that she could continue on like an amputee. She couldn't even last two days let alone an addition of six weeks or unfortunately more.

Going on like this would eventually put more of a burden on everyone else. In the past two days, numerous tasks that she would've completed with such ease, she had to be dependent on her trio of friends. She was hopeless. She disliked displaying weakness to those she cared about more than she did when in front of strangers.

_It's not your fault_

Echoes among echoes among echoes and she wondered how long her parents' voices would be tangling her mind. Only when the doctor's choppy voice struck her ears did she pause in her musing and give her attention.

"Well by this time, your callus should have already toughened and though it is healing it takes quite a while for the bone to remodel itself. It needs to be immobilized so the cast will help." The doctor gingerly tapped on the cast he put on her.

Rin squeezed her eyes shut because weirdly a sudden stir of déjà vu toppled her, crushing her until the memory pierced through the void and became transparent as day.

_Don't you remember, Babycakes? After you fell from that tree, your father had to get the town's doctor and you already know who that is._

And remembered she did. Remembered lying in her pint sized bed, a scowl screwing up her face and her mother guaranteeing a well deserved foot up the ass for disobeying her, while her father sighed. That's when a man had entered her room with petite glasses, nice-shaped chocolate hair and wisdom glowing all over his face.

That was the first time she met Grisha Jaegar.

Now and then, she was being diagnosed with a simple fracture; the only difference was then the unfortunate limb had been her left leg. The memory seemed watery and clear like looking at her reflection in the sea, smooth and expanse beneath her. Her fingers had unconsciously traced across her left thigh and considered the urgent warmth was a reaction from the weather being so cold. Mr. Arlert sent Rin a cursory glance before stepping forward.

"Thank you for everything." His gruff voice had reawakened her. He shook hands with the doctor who smiled, albeit regretful.

"Hopefully, you'll be able to come again…"

Rin erased the rest of the sentence from her hearing, unnerved. _Hopefully? What does he mean hopefully?_

Conscience pricked. Rin stayed wordless. The conclusion she landed on was so harrowing that she kicked it out of her mind because surely she was being self-delusional and surely the doctor did not have any expectations of that happening.

Hesitant fingers played around the longer parts of her hair as she sourly waited for Mr. Arlert to abandon the conversation with the doctor.

The need to leave was crying out to her.

* * *

The breath of the sky was ice cold.

Not only that, it shrieked audibly, a cacophonic sound that her ears were forced to listen to in the walk back to the warehouse. She couldn't thank Armin's grandfather enough for carrying the thick shawls because though her dress was long sleeved and quite warm, it barely did anything for her legs.

Much as she tried not to stare, Rin soon found herself stealing curious glances at the man. An unreadable expression was plastered on his face, although there was a different look playing in his kind eyes this time around, a feeling of concern she did not remember seeing once they left the establishment. Before all this madness, she had always kept with the opinion that Mr. Arlert was intimidating and severe the way he always scolded Armin for the littlest of things. Now she doubted her thoughts.

With a sudden twinge of guilt she realized that had always been there. Her own perspective was altering as she learned how to look beyond the cloud of anger and fear that hung above her. The man had always been concerned – a certain affability defined his character. Without him, she, Eren, and Mikasa would be fighting for survival right now.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, intent eyes studying every stolen glance and every twinge that she could hardly school herself to control at this point.

"Fine" she whispered through a voice too rough to be convincing before clearing her throat and trying again, "Tired."

He harrumphed with a nod and fell silent by her side. With a quiet sigh she directed a look at him and found herself lost in the depths of this kind, sympathetic look that she had failed to understand before and for the briefest of seconds she found herself on the brink of asking him to hold hands. She quickly averted her eyes, the moment passing as fast as it had risen, and Rin twined her hands underneath the broad material of her shawl.

_I told you he wasn't a grumpy old man who smokes. Just a kind old man…who smokes_

Must her dad _always _be right?

"Thank you." Mr. Arlert began quietly and Rin directed her startled look at him wondering why he was showing gratitude when it should be the other way around.

"For being Armin's friend." Bearing a smile, he continued. "Eren and Mikasa too. You kids are all he ever talks about."

Sheepishness—she had no idea why she felt—emerged as a slight blush, hard to differentiate from the blood already rushing and glazing her cheeks red from the cold. Rin remembered her first meeting with Armin and that time he was afraid of her, mostly on how brutally she defeated the bullies that were bothering him. Comfortingly, even the first time her mauve eyes took a look at him, her arms and legs quivered and on impulse the word 'protect' had filled her mind.

Rin had morphed her eyes to see Armin as a little brother of some sort—perhaps it was from the battering loneliness of being an only child—someone that needed smothering protection, but also a cushion of trust and dependency that she could put into a precious loved one.

Now she had recognized that Armin's grandfather probably wears a strict mask because he wants Armin to mature into a well-versed young man. He respects the influences that not only she, but Eren and Mikasa confer.

"Armin wouldn't stop till you got on that boat."

Violet eyes blinked wide open.

"What…?" she whispered, a horrified dry rasp as what he said finally caught up to her.

He let out an emotional sigh, but the emotion layered in it was unknown to Rin.

"He ran away from me and into this soldier. I didn't hear much else, until the soldier yelled for people to throw their belongings overboard so more people could fit."

Rin opened and closed her mouth, figuring out what to say. Her mind spun uncontrollably, threading together the events leading up to the separation of her mother. However even with that, if Armin hadn't said anything, her fate would've been deadly and bleak, just _like _her mother's.

Nonetheless, she felt relief, warm and all-encompassing, spread through her body, a feeling that intensified at his next words.

"As soon as I heard that, I knew it had to be my grandson who convinced them. He always has been good with words."

His explanation stirred something inside her, reached past the serenity of knowing her friend's deed and dragged gentle fingers across a chord inside her heart. It took a few seconds to find the reason why, and when she did, a smile claimed her cheeks.

A huge amount of happiness must have shown on her face because Armin's grandfather chose to hassle her hair, awarding her with a genuine smile. Rin angled her head to look at him, eyes big and innocent.

Innocence, he pondered, what a rarity these days.

"Mr. Arlert" She called contently. "I'm glad you're grandson is my friend."

He replied with another ruffle of her hair.

* * *

Never before had the floor seem so comfortable

Eren shifted uneasily on his makeshift bed. The smooth surface rubbed against his cheeks and hands; they asked the owner of the warehouse for more quilts because it was just so cold. Thankfully, the owner gave them access to freshwater in where they could wash their clothes and bathe, albeit all of them could only use it once every week (the water was freezing, but who's complaining?) so it was a night in where he's only trapping his body heat instead of his odor.

Eren found himself glaring at a barrel, which barely distinguished itself from the nighttime shadows. Not an hour before, Armin's grandfather blew the fire from the lamp and everyone settled in for the night, fully intending to let exhaustion overtake them and offer at least a temporary reprieve from the events of today.

Today, most of the refugees were assigned to cultivate the fields to help the food shortage. He could still feel the coldness nipping away at the pads of his fingers from the hours and hours of flaccidly digging dirt, extracting weeds, inserting seeds and plowing them. He never knew agriculture could be so taxing. They only started on carrots and broccoli today and would probably continue it tomorrow.

He curled tighter in on himself, a sleeping position he loathed, but that the weather forced him to hold. He felt the sleek touch of the covers sliding and his body heat gradually escaping before he fought back a growl, forcing the covers back on him.

_Freaking Armin!_

Eren completely forgot about Armin's blanket-hogging tendencies when he agreed to share covers with him.

Ordinarily, if he wasn't in a fetal position and if it wasn't so freezing _and _if he didn't have to share covers with someone else, Eren would've been spread his body out. Would have his feet go wherever which way he pleased.

He always slept like that back at home.

He stifled a sigh. This was why he hated insomnia; the past crept up much more easily on him, dragged as light and taunting a finger down his face as his mother's hands ever had. Nonetheless, the worry and desperation and latent pain all came oozing back, as deadly in nature as any deep wound.

"_After I've returned, I'll show you the basement that I've been keeping you away from."_

Eren was excited and he would've waited patiently every day, talk about it excessively until his mother would grow tired of it.

But then the Titans had come and now he has no mother to chide him about anything anymore.

Eren tucked himself a little tighter into the quilt's confines.

Where was his Dad anyways?

That was the one question that clung to his mind lately. It's been two days and he never showed up, never came to check if he and Mikasa were alright or_ alive _for that matter, never came to help them. Soon abandonment pricked his dubious mind and he couldn't help but let anger flow in as well.

Until his fingers ghosted the key around his neck.

He pulled it out from the comfort of his clothing and observed it, the smooth texture running through his fingers. It had unfolded in his mind that he didn't remember ever meeting up with his father, so why did he have the key? He closed his eyes.

The dream he had two mornings ago; his father's face marred by tears, he himself was screaming fearfully for whatever reason, his father was asking, no, _begging_ for his arm. That was all his brain allowed him to remember.

He wanted to denounce it as just another oddment of dreaming, but it just felt too _real._

The frustration from his cryptic dream almost made him curse aloud, before he remembered everyone was sleeping.

"Psst."

Ok…not everyone.

Eren twitched. And for a moment, he considered closing his eyes and pretending that the very repose he sought did, in fact, control his every move.

"Quit pretending to be asleep. I know you're not."

That cemented the identity as Rin.

He sat up and barely avoided clipping Armin's face with his left elbow. (If it did happen, would've served him right for the many times he stole the damn covers)

She took the thinnest quilt out of the triple that she and Mikasa shared, taking light steps towards him until she plopped herself in front of him cross legged, mummified by the sheet. In the vague half-darkness he saw her fingers tapping against her thigh and the way her hooded head stared at the ground, as if she had something to say.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he asked, as much in an effort to draw out her pensiveness' source as to soothe his own.

One covered shoulder raised and lowered. When she finally raised her head to properly talk to him her voice sounded accusing. "Why aren't you?"

He copied her ambiguous shrug and she narrowed her eyes before remembering that he probably couldn't see it. She turned her head to look at the wall.

"No I…" He hesitated, before wondering with a sudden fierceness why he was. After all, he had longed so much to remove the one obstacle between him and a good night's sleep; and admitting to his worries was the first step to that.

"I was thinking about my dad…and this key."

Eren took the key from underneath his shirt. Rin's entire body straightened as she turned her head to look his way. Its outline was visible only by the virtue of a moonlit break in the murky darkness. That was the thing she saw around his neck two days ago.

"That's the…" her words trailed off.

"Basement key." He finished. "The key that I kept telling you guys about."

"The one that your dad didn't want you to have…?"

He nodded his head. "But that day, before…everything…" His voice struggled over that event, as it had with everyone for the past few days. "He said he would show it to me when he came back, but…" He clenched the sheets, twisting it. "I don't remember him coming even once so why do I have the key?"

He twisted the covers some more, as though ruining its neatness would give him the answer. Rin could only muse with parted lips. She didn't remember seeing Grisha at all either and if he was passing by, he would've at least checked on Eren and Mikasa. _Wouldn't he?_

"Probably he gave it to someone to deliver it to you." Rin suggested.

"No, my dad is very private with this key. He would never hand it to anyone."

"Probably he came and gave it to you, but you're too dumb to remember."

"Don't start, Rin."

"Alright, alright…" She realized that she had used up most of her old year material in her insult inventory, but it was such a nice coincidence that the beacon of moonlight decide to brush Eren's face. Scanning his face and carefully avoiding his green eyes that had mysteriously looked heavenly, she got it.

"Bushy brows."

Why did she never think of that before?

"What the hell did you just call m—!?"

His sentence was cut off by the sweet taste of laundry and soap, eyes realizing that Rin had stuff a fistful of quilts in his mouth. He couldn't see her face, but he could sense her annoyance freely stabbing away at his face.

"Are you trying to KO everyone's ears?" Rin hissed, voice growing more and more into a fierce whisper.

"Meis mm barsin mo srped mmkdbfeg t." She took the quilts out of his mouth.

"Says the person who started it." Eren crossed his arms, "Whatever. Just don't call me that again."

"Ok…Bushy—"

"Rin…!"

Before she could stop herself, a breath of laughter had escaped her nostrils. Eren immediately bristled. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just…" She added in a few needed chuckles. "I can see your face and it's all screwed up. It's hilarious."

Eren stared at her for mere seconds before kissing his teeth and glancing away. "Annoying."

For some reason, just like that, the thick sullen mood in the air vanished just a bit. Even Eren's shoulders fell slightly slack. His face distorted and all did make her laugh, but Rin found herself noticing her laughter was plunging more than just his expression. Despite that it was well late into the night, it was freezing and her right arm was itchy, she was enjoying this moment. She didn't want to go back to sleep and being that it was Eren, the weird sensation—happiness?—came back stronger.

_Aww! My cute daughter is growing up! They'll write songs about your love. _

How she so wanted to scream that it's not love; she had to keep reminding herself that the others are asleep.

Her face then went from embarrassed to neutral and she unwittingly inched closer to Eren, who was too busy scowling to notice.

Rin was enjoying herself too much not only because of her feelings; these are moments to treasure because as soon as the sun breaks through the boundaries of the horizon, there's only one thing pulsing through everyone's minds, survival.

Everyone has their own worries; she has her own worries and the food famine annexing to their burden was like rubbing salt to the wound.

And it was the Titans' fault.

_I'll kill that damn Titan who started it all!_

She must have unconsciously spoken the thought aloud, because the next moment, Eren swung his head curiously toward her. "The Colossal Titan?"

"You gave it a name?" She asked dryly.

"That's what everyone's been calling it." He shot back sharply.

"Well, yeah, that one." Again, a sudden irrational spur of anger swept across her heart. She closed her eyes and that proved her anger to sting more; quick images of her parents sunk in and then the image of the muscle clad titan, all huge, all red, and all ugly, eyes peering down.

_We're here and we love you_

Soon enough, Rin had her nails digging into her left cloaked knee.

"If I ever see that Titan again, I'm going to rip its head off, cut it up and serve it to other Titans!" Her rant stifled itself halfway through, again remembering not to disrupt the others.

Eren looked at her confusingly. "Can Titans even eat other Titans?"

"I don't know, but that would be crazy to see."

"Or damn creepy."

That riled giggles from both kids, mixing well into the shy quietness of the fall's night. However, Rin sighed; a shaky sound, but one whose tremor steadied short of her voice.

"Hey, you said you wanted to kill all the Titans, right?" Rin reaffirmed.

Eren's response was instantaneous; his entire body perked up and his face became rigid in seriousness.

"Of course!" His tone became lower. "Each and everyone one of them… I'll …erase them from this world."

Once he had started, his voice sounded almost uncontrollable, as if the one chip of resolve he had packed between his rationale and the raw feeling of his emotions dislodged somehow. Rin let him talk, without any interruptions because she had the same feelings of ire towards the Titans as well—who wouldn't?—but she didn't showcase it like Eren.

But she heard herself speak

"I'm with you on that."

His eyes broadened a tad. "What?"

"I said, I'm with you on that." She repeated, more embarrassed now if scratching her cheek was anything to go by. "I want to kill all the Titans too. Especially the 'Colossal Titan' one." The last part came only partly lighter than the rest of the sentence.

"Alright." Eren nodded his head jubilantly "We're going to kill all of them!" Rin stuck out her left fist and Eren bumped it, smirks fixated on both of their faces.

Rin went back to her spot and it only took a few moments for her to succumb to fatigue.

Eren slept away, the burden in his chest suddenly much less heavy.

* * *

_After that night and morning came, we continued working on the fields, dawn till dusk, everyday till even our bones were aching from the labor. This continued on for four months, passing by Mikasa's 11__th__ birthday. My arm healed exceptionally well, only to be tuckered out with the rest of my body when sent on duty for crop reclamation. _

_The refugees' efforts barely did anything to stop the food famine however. Over two hundred people died of starvation._

_The Central Government decided to devise a plan to benefit us all…or so we thought._

* * *

_March 24__th__, Year 846—Wall Rose: Trost District_

Rin stared across the town square at the Military Police official standing on a rostrum, preparing to speak. She ran a tired—tired from all the agriculture goodness of labor— hand through her hair, which was accumulating dirt much to her displeasure. She noticed it had started to grow; it didn't dare to pass her shoulders, but it covered her neck now, a thing it didn't do before. It still managed to hold the visage of an asymmetrical bob-cut, the style that Melusina liked for her.

Silence.

Rin knew the hallucinations of her parents' voices were not going to supply commentary anymore. She had put them away a while ago, but sometimes she would bask in the wondering silence of her mind to see if they would ever return.

They haven't since then.

Winter had come to its timely end and spring was its successor giving off a refreshing scent in the air and relieving them with slightly warmer temperatures, but occasionally there were days that winter would repay a visit.

Mr. Arlert heaved a dry cough, breaking Rin out of her thoughts. "Are you alright, Mr. Arlert?"

"Yeah Grandpa, are you alright?" Armin asked, clutching his hand. "You've been coughing like that all day."

"I'm fine. It's just a slight cold." He reassured, fixing his straw hat that was oddly out of place.

"Mr. Arlert, you should get some rest when we go back." Eren said.

"It'll help relieve the cold." Mikasa added in beside him.

"I'll be fine, now listen."

The Military Police official stood above all the refugees, a sheaf of paper in one hand and a pen in the other. He looked around, his stare hitting every refugee that had gathered and his face flip-flopped between seriousness and somberness before he chose seriousness. He glanced at his comrade next and the nod from his comrade prompted him to speak.

"Everyone quiet down and listen!"

Slowly, everyone hushed.

"We gathered you here to inform you about some news from the Central Government."

As expected, many people burst out into hushed murmurs of confusion. A caramel brow rose, lost in the depths of caramel bangs. The Central Government's plan, Rin wondered what it was going to be. She had a feeling it would be a hit or miss; would it be beneficial towards the refugees or not basically and surviving through these four months, watching every detail of hardships that flooded all, she wouldn't be surprised if the plan was anti-refugee.

The amount of hatred they received from the citizens of Trost was crazy. They imprudently blamed the food shortage and everything else on the refugees; in these situations, there has to be someone to put the blame on.

The government could either force people to quarter more refugees, migrate some of them to Wall Sina (very dubious on that), amp up the production of produce; their options were limited.

Rin clutched her dress, wishing all her might that the plan would benefit refugees and citizens and end this bitter battle.

"The refugees and voluntarily, citizens, are to be sent on a recovery mission to recapture Wall Maria."

Hope, again, came crashing down.

There were no barks of outrage, no depressing sobs, no complaints. Everyone remained still, poised almost. She had to; Rin had to gaze around because this silence felt too surreal. She gazed at her friends, people behind her, people in front of her; it was all the same, quiet shock. Everyone just listened as the information poured down on them like rain dampening the earth.

"If you're a refugee, go to the lists that are posted on the right. Please refrain from pushing or shoving. If your name is on the list, please report here tomorrow morning."

There were four lengthy lists, names printed in semi-small font. Armin almost shattered.

Mr. Arlert's name was on the list.

* * *

_Just as said, the next morning a large group of 250,000 people were sent into battle to recapture Wall Maria. Only five Trost citizens volunteered._

_That mass was twenty percent of mankind's population, but only a hundred people survived. Before he left, Mr. Arlert gave Armin, his only grandson, his keepsake: his hat_

_That was the last time we ever saw Mr. Arlert._

_We discovered the truth ten months later._

* * *

_January 6__th__, Year 847—Wall Rose: Trost District_

"Hey…" A Military Police commander drawled out, observing some of the refugees working. Pointing his pen towards a segment of land, he made his query.

"Why wasn't this section cultivated before winter?"

The surprised official behind him stuttered before answering. "M-Most of our workers were kicked out and sent on that recovery mission a year ago, sir."

The soldier twitched, belatedly remembering the impromptu mission. The death toll was astronomically high, passing the death toll of five expeditions of the Scouting Legion combined.

The Commander continued, scribbling in his report log. "I'm quite aware of that." He stated matter-of-factly. "You should've thought of an alternative. Maintaining production output up to the scheduled amounts is supposed to be your damn job."

The official recoiled into his military coat. "My apologies, sir!" He squeaked.

"At this rate, we're going to be the ones starving."

As they walked away, the workers watched them, contempt raising more within each step they took. The refugees that were left had to fulfill the labor of the mass, now that they were gone. What made it worse was the supply and demand. They augmented production which meant more work with less people.

"Achoo!"

Rin sneezed, smothering her body more into the shawl. The pelting snow raced by at a lightning pace, she could barely see what she was doing. She brashly rubbed her nose on the sleeve of her clothing, leaving a wet trail of snot behind. Caring for lady-like appearance was definitely not in her system right now. The chill of the snow pressed against her flesh, waking her cheeks alive, red and rosy. Rubbing her hands together, she set off back to work, only to be distracted by the kiss of someone's teeth.

"The Military Police are so full of themselves. Those damn people don't even know what a Titan looks like." An old man with a scruffy beard complained, eyes following the two military officials.

"Stop talking you old fool." A younger man replied solemnly. "Don't give these kids any funny ideas. You kids are old enough for the Trainees' squad, right? If you're gonna be soldiers, be sure not to become like them."

Rin was at the appropriate age of enlisting into the Trainees' Squad when she was ten. Now that she was eleven going on twelve this year, she still wasn't certain if it was the right thing to do.

Her eyes went over to her friends who were working on their share, but one of them was standing. Through the snow, she saw the stark contrast of yellow and white.

"What's wrong, Armin?" Eren asked.

He kept silent, but his furrowed eyebrows, gritted teeth and flushed face said it all.

"Recovery mission, my ass!"

All of their eyes widened, Rin's jaw dropped. This was the first time they _ever_ heard Armin curse. Armin ignored their surprised faces and continued on.

"They killed off my grandpa to have less mouths to feed!"

Double kill of surprise. Rin's eyes couldn't possibly get any wider, but before her emotions could take its adamant approval, Armin ran, straight into the woods that were under deforestation.

"Armin!" Rin shouted, following suit. Hearing the crisp and fast crunches of the snow behind her, she knew that Eren and Mikasa weren't far behind.

Armin wasn't a fast runner, so he would've stopped running by now, Rin deduced; especially since the snow acted like weights on their feet. Their running led them to a clearing, a white sanctuary where the snowy ground seemed so fragile, circled by trees. Even the snow seemed less vigorous in its descend.

"Armin!" Mikasa spotted and they all ran towards him.

He looked so vulnerable.

Snow adhered to his shoulders, but he made no move to wipe it off. Legs brought into his chest, shoulders hunched, Mr. Arlert's hat in his arms. The feeling of sorrow intensified when they noticed the visible shaking of his shoulders.

Rin closed her eyes, tears swelling up. Mikasa looked down, coal black eyes glistening. Eren scrubbed at his eyes, stopping the tears from breaking loose. They all kneeled, occupying Armin's every direction and each placed a hand on him. The warmth, the touch of their concerns, their worries, their sorrows all absorbed and mixed together. Armin buried the hat deeper into his chest. He felt the gratefulness his friends had for his grandfather and that sentiment of nasty anger ebbed.

It was moments like these that friendship prevailed, where relying on other people didn't feel like such a crime.

They stayed like that, seconds dragging onto minutes. Eren found it fit to tear the silence.

"Armin…I'm going to join the trainees' squad this April."

Everyone's eyes looked in Eren's direction. Turquoise eyes went a lit. "I'm going to become strong enough to fight the Titans!"

Armin looked at him, tears at the edge of his eyes. Unbidden, so unbidden, flashes of him on the ground, dirty, bruised, being used as a punching bag came. It was drowning, it was irritating. Armin pursed his lips. "Me too…"

"Armi—!"

"Me too!"

Rin didn't know whether it was the rush of the moment, the temporary whim of boldness or her wearing her heart on her sleeve, but whatever it was, made her feel brazen, ready to do anything. It filled her with hope, yet pessimism, pride yet doubt, but at last a bracing feeling took her up entirely. Through that, Rin found the certainty she needed.

"I'll join too."

All eyes flickered to her. "Rin? You don't have to!" Eren protested.

"Who said I have to? I want too." She countered, wrapping a sisterly arm around Armin. Rin stared at Eren knowingly.

"I'll go too." Now it was Mikasa's turn to receive everyone's shocked face.

"Mikasa!? Bu—"

"I'm going with you to make sure you survive." Mikasa cut in, jaw firm and set in her decision.

That put everyone back into silence. Assured in her decision, Rin still couldn't stop the pity pitfall her stomach underwent. It seemed convenient, but this decision wasn't some childish fickle thought on which playground they should play in. This was the break-through of their lives; they would have to say adieu to the remainder of their childhood and possibly more.

"Got it. It'll be the four of us…together!"

The revelation didn't sting as much as it should, but just to savor the last privileges that childhood offered; Rin donned a smirk.

Eren eyed her, suspicion prime in his gaze. "Rin, what are yo—!"

White was all he saw, met with the brutal cold against his face. And there was Rin, laughing like a villainous foe into the dotted sky, pointing at him.

Eren narrowed his brows. "Take this!" He threw a snowball at her and a toothy grin appeared when it smacked her right in the mouth.

His victory didn't last long when Mikasa slapped him with one, but it was so worth it when she awarded Rin with one as well. Armin snuck a snowball and flung it at Mikasa, hitting her dead in the face; Eren and Rin cried out in laughter. Soon it was an all out, rule free snow war. They threw, they tumbled, tackled, did everything that kids should be doing.

The smiles never wore off of their faces, even when in the middle of their battle, some Military Police officials discovered them and escorted them back to work; it never slipped.

* * *

_April 4__th__, Year 847—Wall Rose: Trainees' Squad Quarters_

"We will now begin the entrance ceremony of the 104th Trainee Squad!"

His bellow swallowed the whole area, but everyone stood severely stiff.

"Unlucky for you, it turns out that I, Keith Schadich, will be in charge of this squad! I offer you no words of welcome! Right now, I only see you all as Titan food!"

Everyone still managed to stay stone-face.

"Actually, you're worse than that. You're all useless piece of shits, but that is why you're here! We will spend three years training you! We will pound your bodies into Titan killing machines!" Keith clenched his fist.

"When you stand before a Titan in three years time, will you still be Titan food or will you act as honorable shields to protect our king!? Or perhaps will you exterminate the Titans as glorious soldiers of mankind!"

"The choice is yours!"

Her violet eyes held on to the barking commander. _The time has come._

Rinora Charles perfected her stance.

* * *

**That is the end of the Days of Sorrow parts and now we will soon be heading towards the Trost Arc. I do have some twists and turns and little add ins for this story, so hopefully it will make this fanfic shine brighter. I'm a little excited to start on Pathway to Ascension because I'm going to take a more comedic turn with this one. **

**I really do have a pic of Rin when she's 10 and 15, but I really don't know how to post it. I've asked for people to be kind enough and draw a picture of Rin, Melusina and Lukas (what they perceive the characters look like based off descriptions in the story) but I've got zero responses and or feedback so thanks everyone for making me feel like a desperate douche. Is it so bad for me to want to be like SilverQueen or Darkpetal16 regarding fanart and reviews? (Great authors by the way.)**

**Ok let me stfu now.**

**Reviews are...loved!**


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